Most Helpful Guy
The truth is neither will help if you are putting a priority on money, or watching it too much. A lot of people tend to think that if everything is separate, you will never fight about money. This is not necessarily true. As you said you are frustrated because you keep looking at all the money you have spent for dinners/dates/etc. It can lead to fights just as easily as joining all accounts. Like WHO pays for the utilities, vacations, dates etc?
A classic couples fight, yes this is from my past, I buy name brand coffee. My girlfriend, doesn't like that I "waste my money on that" because the store brand is "just as good" (she is dead wrong by the way!) and I need to save my money so I have more for "important things". I am saving money and don't like that she is trying to tell me what to spend my money on (Except for our cell phones, and the lease everything is separate).
Most couples I know (the successful ones anyway) tend to actually do both. They have a joint account for mortgage, utilities, insurance, repair bills, dates, etc, which each partner donates a set amount, either percentage of the bill or their paycheck. They typically also have another joint for retirement/savings, and then they each keep a personal savings account for things they want, but the other person might be annoyed by.
For instance, they wife typically likes to shop and buy lots of clothes/shoes. A lot of men have a heart attack when they hear about the "great deal" their wives got and splurged a little. And the man is free to do the same, for instance buy himself a decent grind of coffee, lol.
Also, if you are frustrated by lots of finance, and you feel like you might want your husband to mostly handle the joint account talk to him about it.
Hope this helps!
Most Helpful Girl
My parents each have their own and a joint account.
If I remember correctly, I think that 75% of each of their paychecks goes into the joint account and 25% in each of their individual ones. They use the joint one to pay for joint things like the mortgage, food, my schooling (at least, the money invested for that came from the joint one), and vehicles.
They use their own accounts for fun things they feel like doing. Going out to dinner, buying things for themselves, etc.
But most of the money is communal. And for a while there back in '08 there were no separate accounts 'cause there wasn't enough to have separate ones.
Plus they use their own accounts for birthday presents so the other doesn't know what their gift is when they see the bill :p