Friends with Benefits - But more like an uncommitted relationship - What do I do?

Background: So there's a guy who I have been involved with for almost a year and a half. I have known him for over 8 years, he is actually an old friend of mine's older brother. We started talking just as friends at first, and we started talking more, and then it got to everyday every minute. After a couple months of that he was a little tipsy and texted me that he didn't want to make anything weird, but that he really liked me and wished that we were closer in age because I would be someone he would pursue a relationship with (He's 5 years older). I obviously had similar feelings and expressed that. Soon after we started hanging out, and the first time we were alone we had sex. We go get ice cream and lunch, but everytime we are alone in a room we end up having sex (which isn't often - I am out of town for school for most of the year).

We talk to each other from the moment we wake up in the morning till the moment we go to bed. I know about all his friends and his work and he knows about mine. I can confide in him.

I am confused as to what he wants. I feel sometimes like I am just a filler until he finds something he truly wants. I know communication sounds like the obvious answer, but I do not know exactly how to go about it without ending our current relations.

Do you think he wants a relationship? How long do these type of things usually last? Should I see his lack of want of a relationship based on age as a sign that I am filler?
  • You are filler until he finds something better.
    Vote A
  • He probably wants a relationship.
    Vote B
  • He just sees you as friends who occasionally have sex.
    Vote C
  • Other - Will explain in comments.
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Guy

  • You obviously like each other and have sex, but I don't know if you two have romance. The kind of romance that makes the difference between friends and couples. When you have sex, do you love each other? Do you kiss in a romantic way, or do you just make out and fuck? Do you ever look into each others eyes while he is inside you or is it more like - turn off the lights and look away?

    • The lights are always on, always looking at each other. He'll kiss my hips before going down on me. Lots of cuddling before and after.

    • Show All
    • "I feel sometimes like I am just a filler until he finds something he truly wants." Are you sure that he isn't just a filler for you until you find something you truly want. Is he what you truly want? Are you sure that you really want a relationship?

    • He's certainly what I truly want. It's very frustrating.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • He's just lonely but yet emotionally unavailable or lack the ability to be much forward as to what he's serious about , with you.

    He's using you for sex as of now. You know... With that mentality " just try it out before buying the product ".

    • Do you think it's weird that it has gone on for over a year or that fairly typical?

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    • Thanks, I appreciate your comments. The whole situation is really draining but at the same time I'm so emotionally involved it's hard to leave it.

    • You can always find someone better. He won't be the last guy you'll have foreva!

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