Losing my patience - time for an ultimatum and telling him we should remain friends?

A close friend kissed me a few weeks back and having discussed it since we both agreed it was a good thing.

However, despite suggesting that he's interested in being more than friends, nothing has happened. I've made suggestions for things we can do but he is being elusive. Thought it was because he is busy with work but I don't think he wants to make time for me and friends who have seen his texts agree.

Now, I'm not suggesting that I think one kiss means that we should be in a serious relationship straight off but this is not the first time the guy has proven elusive - catch up drinks etc.

So I'm thinking about drafting an email showing my hand and then leave it up to him. I might lose a friend but surely its better than me slowing going cuckoo.
  • Ultimatum
    Vote A
  • Wait a little longer
    Vote B
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So to add a little more -

This guy knows how I feel because I've told him exactly how I feel. I've also invited around to mine, offered to meet him for a drink after work for weeks now. He response is that we will work something out. And that's my issue... When are we going to work something out? Are pigs gonna fly first?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Darling, we men sometimes are like never aging toddlers; you have to work hard to get truth out of us. In my opinion, you should tell him to make or move or loose you forever.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Time for the ultimatum. You've made it clear already, the ball is in his court. Now you've got to tell him to decide. Is he in or is he out? Judging by his behavior I'm assuming he's out, otherwise you would have started dating by now since things like this tend to escalate after the turning point (kissing). But nothing has changed so that might just be him showing how reluctant he is.

    Elusive people tend to not make good friends or partners in general. It's something that gets old really fast.

    • "Keep you word and surround yourself with people that do to. Eliminate the flaky ones from your life. If you find yourself surrounded by flaky people, you know you are one of them." - Les Brown

    • @Broswater I agree with everything except for the last part. The people you surround yourself with don't always have to be a reflection of who you are. I've been unfortunate enough to befriend a few flaky people before even realizing just how flaky they are. And I always try my best to stick to my word, and if I can't, I better have a damn good excuse. It wasn't my fault, I've never been flaky, it was just bad luck.

    • Clean them out of your life ;)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Why don't you tell him that you like him? He might simply be oblivious.

    • He knows. He could be as blind as a bat and he would know.

    • How do you know for sure? You don't. You can't read his mind. Stop assuming that you know everything he knows.

      And maybe he does know, and he's simply too shy. Once again, why don't you ask him out? There's no reason to sit back and wait. Ask him out and you'll have your answer right away.

  • Can you get him to your place

    • That is one of the suggestions I have made - go dutch on take out and have a movie night or similar. I've also offered to meet up for a quiet drink after work etc.

What Girls Said 4

  • Honestly, I don't know about you, but at this point, I would move on. com. One of the things I cannot stand is when people play hot and cold or just won't be upfront with me about what they want, and it's even worse when they avoid you. It's a sign of either lack of interest or immaturity, so my suggestion is to just let it go, and if he ever brings it up again, you can either say: That ship has sailed, should have got on earlier. OR: If you want this to work, you had better be serious this time.

  • Il just ignore this guy if I were u. Ignorance is the best revenge since he is cold and unwavering himself. Don't waste your time with these emotional cripples.

  • I'd move on. By what you say he knows how you feel and now after the kiss his feet are cold. He isn't sure what he wants. You deserve better.

  • Ultimatum now!


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