Should I believe him?

We met on a chat room on a website for people of different sexual orientations. He is 40, I'm 25, so quite an age gap. I'm demisexual (need to know someone well before sexual attraction occurs), he is asexual (not much into sex). He's from Italy-I'm from Australia. It first started when I'd recently torn away from a guy who clearly had different goals to me and went on chat to help myself get over things. I added this man as I found his profile interesting. He asked why I added him and soon after we began talking on the chat room, and he tried to offer me advice (he would talk with lots of different people on chat). He never saw a picture of me until a little after I asked to add him on Skype.

Fast forward, we've been talking daily for hours for a little over a year over Skype. He's been patient, caring, respectful and sweet. We talk, we play pc games (which is one reason he initially was interested in me). He's very intelligent, cultured, and he sends me photos of his daily adventures and of his family (he's Asian and lives with family).

I found out his true identity through a hint and my own detective work. I was surprised when I verified all the things he told me- he wasn't comfortable disclosing until we'd met in person.

I've felt uncomfortable about a few aspects. Mainly the age gap and the fact he has a very successful, stable career and I don't. My life is barely together. When we first met on chat he put me through a series of tests. When he found out I was not materialistic, he said this was another big aspect which attracted him. He states he likes my honesty and my childlike nature. He said I seem more mature than most women he'd dated in past. He likes that I'm also unconventional.

I have a fairly messy past and lack trust. He wants to fly in to meet me as soon as he possibly can. I am filled with suspicion and doubt- it seems too good. What should I do?
I don't want to seem a stalker but I would like to add I found posts online which sounded like him from about 10 years ago. He attributed this to someone he was friends with who turned out to be a business fraud and forged bank cheques in his name (I confirmed through other means the guy is a fraud). He thinks this man created the profile. I've argued with him a lot over this and almost have ended contact due to this. I can confirm he is well respected in business. Should I believe him?
Forgot to add- the posts I found on this old forum sounded like his English patterns and also his life- though some things didn't add up like that this guy stated he had a girlfriend for three years, and some other small details. He also seemed more shallow and seemed like a troll. He is adamant it's not him every time it comes up. I guess I believe him because why would he go through all this and listen and respond for a girl with emotional baggage that lives halfway across the world?


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  • I met a guy like this once... I couldnt quite understand...

    If he wants to fly over and is happy to stay somewhere near but not with you I think this is the key.

    You said he was Asian, do you mean Middle East Asian or Far East Asian? (different countries have different terms)

    You said you found out his true identity, did this make you feel a little happier?

    The guy I met I ended up engaged to but the distance was simply too much so we ended, he was in America and I loved him very much.

    • Hello,

      Thanks for responding :)

      He's East Asian but he was raised in Italy.

      Well I found out his true identity first through some videos and pictures I found and everything checked out (though he didn't tell me exactly what he did until much later). I did feel better but then I found the post which worried me that maybe I was part of some sick joke or prank. However, the guy who he thinks made the profile, he really seems a psychopath- he even sent me a news article about the guy being found for fraudulent activities. I also found blank MySpace profiles with only this guy and my "friend" connected, no one else. He seemed surprised as he didn't seem like he knew these even existed. I've seen my friend's old Facebook account- many high profile people on his friends list, also a couple with photos of my friend in their albums and this other dodgy guy was not on his friend's list at all. Everything checks out but I still feel uneasy. He didn't want to tell me about him until we met irl

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    • Even though everything else checks out?

      I can confirm his career and he's a high profile businessman. Not that it counts for much I suppose.
      I've made it clear that if he comes here I will not be staying in a hotel with him and he states that he respects and prefers it that way. It would be of his own pay.

      What would he be up to do you think?

    • I think let him, but be careful x

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