Is it unreasonable of me to refuse to date a girl because she is a different race?

[Rainie_]

You can't take one person's experience and expect your child to go through the exact same problem as him. Look, you don't even know if you're even gonna marry this girl or have kids with her... Plus you don't even know what her parents are like, not all Asian parents are the same.
Your kid could struggle in school for various reasons even if he was simply white as well. It's just reality, your kids will go through some kind of hardships eventually, it is inevitable.
BUT, if you're seriously worried about this mic race issue for your child, I'm telling you, mix race is becoming very common. And mix race will be the FUTURE, so by the time your child reaches the age to go to school (assuming you'll have kids in maybe 5-10 years time), the world would be looking hella different from now. There is already a whole lot of Asians moving out of their countries (esp China), right now most stay in their "communities" but, as time goes on in sure they'll start mixing up.
And lastly, schools in the future will be looking different when your child grows up compared to when you went to school, you may not have thought about it but it will. So don't limit your options like that, it's honestly so pointless.

[nileve]

Same here but for different reasons I only date within my race I live in Santa Ana full of Hispanic culture

personally I do not think race should mix I do not like it when I look at a person and can not tell what they are . I do not hate mix people or dislike them I been interested in mixed guys

what happen to your friend is awful internet lies and really sucks he believed lies and that he was in that school surrounded by that vibe. what happen to him doesn't mean will happen to other kids many people are mixed and still alive and are happy
your friend let high school get to him

[coconutelixir]

You're allowed to be attracted to whatever culture/race you are attracted to and prefer what you want without being unreasonable. But, you may miss out on someone or something wonderful. It's your choice. Also, don't assume that one person's experience is the norm... because not necessarily. Every culture/race has its own unique challenges and mixed race has its own, but it also has its perks and you will have a lot of impact on your future childrens' lives so you can bring a lot of good to them.

[TheGeorge]

Half Asian half white people are pretty popular these days. It might not be a good idea to let them grow up in a countryside environment, but in big cities it is totally cool to be half Asian these days. I'm sure your friend would have had a different experience if he was born today and while this is tragic, I think you should not let it influence your life so much. The only reason why I would not date a particular woman from a different race is communication issues. If neither of you can speak each other's language and you had to communicate via a 3rd language, that would be a huge issue for me. But other than not, you like her. Don't let the past drag you down.

[longjohndan]

Well I can understand why you wouldn't want to do it and it certainly is a valid thing to be concerned about so with that rationale I would say that you are being a reasonable person.. That being said, my girlfriend is Japanese and I am white. Where I live mixed race couples are common and I know several mixed race people that are well adjusted and very dynamic people. I'd suggest to you that because of your awareness and sensitivity this is not actually a problem for you. You aren't getting married, you are going out on a date, but I certainly see and understand your rationale.

[Anonymous]

If you like her, go for it.

I've had the same conflict before but I gave it a shot, because I really liked the guy. He told me no one in his family had ever dated outside their race. Sadly, I was just an experiment for him, we didn't last because I wouldn't sleep with him right away.

Times are changing & the races are mixing. If your relationship does progress & a child is born, just relocate to somewhere more diverse & progressive.

Sorry about your friend, that's such a sad situation.

[Anonymous]

Your instincts are correct, it's better not to date interracially and have mixed kids. These kids have a lot of issues fitting in and finding a stable identity. Look at Obama. The guy was raised by a family of white people, but he went through a bunch of turmoil and drug abuse as a young person because he identified as black. He felt torn between two cultures, but ultimately rejected the culture that raised him and embraced what he wasn't. I wouldn't want my kids to have that guy's issues for anything in the world.

[WalterRadio]

Asian women are the easiest to get into bed, despite popular opinion.

Asian-white kids are among the best looking in the world. Of the 5 perfect 10's I have ever met (I am a very tough grader), 4 of them were Eurasians. That includes an actress, a model, a family physician and a surgeon. The 2013 Miss World was Eurasian Megan Young.

There are countries in the world where daughters are pushed to marry a white guy so they can "have beautiful children".

Your friend didn't commit suicide because he is Eurasian, he committed suicide because he was mentally ill.

I personally know maybe 150 Asian-white couples and most of them have kids and many of those kids are superstars.

There is nothing wrong with having a preference for certain characteristics. It sounds like your rationale, though, is irrational.

[Anonymous]

You can decline to date anyone you want, it's your choice and you have EVERY right to do so. I just think it's ignorant as hell cause there will always be interracial relationships and mixed kids. His experience isn't all mixed kids' experience and doesn't mean your kids will be treated like he was. People who aren't mixed experience problems daily, like blacks who are racists against whites and vice versa. If you're not apart of the solution then you're apart of the problem. People need to look at the bigger picture and stop trying to divide everyone, we're all one race... the human race. Going forward this planet is going to be so mixed up no one is going to even care.

[Laowai]

If you are abandoning the chance of a relationship with a nice girl that you like because of her race, then you are insane.

First - Asian women are awesome, and make great girlfriends/wives.
Second, Japan is a pretty closed society, and non-pure Japanese do have trouble fitting in. Same for Chaina, Korea etc.

However, if you live in America, Europe or Latin America, no one cares. My wife is Asian, my kids are half-Asian, and there has never been a moment where any of them have felt the slightest bit uncomfortable.

The only problem is that Asians in the U. S. are at a disadvantage for getting into college. I plan to advise my kids to lie there.

[TripleAce]

Preferences are fine

But when preferences are based on race its wrong. It can be argued it falls under the definition if rasicm as you are putting other races above hers, which in turn makes her inferior to another race

Something she can't control

[R3d_Anonymous]

Wow I'm sorry that happened to your friend. However, I've heard of many stories of Asians and Indians being successful both in and out of their country.

I hate to be harsh and criticize him because I myself am sort of going through the same problem which I'm trying to fix, but maybe it was the insecurity that caused that to happen to him.

I don't think that's a good reason to not date this girl. You'll only be feeding the problem, and besides, acceptance is only growing, so objectively it shouldn't even be nearly as bad when you do have a kid and when that kid goes off to college.

Besides, I've heard that often half-Asian and half-white children are often very conventionally attractive, especially the girls.

I think you should go for it man.

[RedThread]

Well the only way to destroy that prejudice is to CHALLENGE it head on. If you reject this girl for these reasons it shows you're comfortable with the status quo. If you don't like that about society then it needs to be more common to encourage people to change.
I'd so go for it but in the end it's up to you.

[PonyCar]

"I just dont want to date her because she is Asian"
"I have been turned off from interracial relationships for a while"
"They all treated him like an Asian because he looked more Asian then white"
"When he went to Japan (where his mom was from) he was treated like a foreigner because he wasn't full Japanese"

It is really, REALLY important that you figure out why these statements go together. Not just for the sake of your relationship, but for the rest of your life and those in it.

[RationalMale]

If you don't want to date outside your race, who has the right to tell you you can't decide based on genetics/race that you must date some other group?

Who died and made them president of the galaxy?

4.bp.blogspot.com/.../zaphod+beeblebrox.jpg

[sherbearee]

It really depends. I'm sorry about your friend, though I personally haven't seen many of these similar cases, and so I think this may have been an outlier example..
It also depends on the community - some are more diverse and accepting than others.
However, if being with the girl means you have to be uncomfortable/anxious because of this, I don't think the relationship would be that great of an idea.

[ambertaylor]

You can't control what you like, if you don't feel comfortable dating her race then that's your personal choice completely but then again maybe giving her a chance and things could be different? Not sure but don't feel guilty whatever choice you make, you know what's best for you at the end of the day.

[Sinister]

It's not justified, not one bit! Your friend had problems and resulted in him taking his own life. Now, your using someone else's action as an excuse to not date a girl just because she's Asian... OH just like your friend who just so happened to kill himself? I think you have to find a factual reason as to not date her and not one that is based on a bias, let alone in an event that wasn't even your choice.

[Kelfuma]

We all have problems, being half is just one of those. Whether or not people don't talk to you, they don't make you into who you want to be unless you let them. My closest friend is half white, half Asian and he has many friends. I also have another have another half white, half japanese and he's doing just fine.

[Anonymous]

I can understand where you are coming from. But what you are doing is taking a specific case and generalizing it which is wrong. Not everyone reacts the same way about mixed people nor do all mixed people feel messed up. I for once think it s an enriching experience. I love multicultural people they are usually really smart since they have to adapt to different situations. Anw gd lck with it, i hope you ll take a chance if you like the girl.

[XOXOME16]

I think thats stupid that you'd stop yourself from dating someone because of they're race. Yeah your friend killing himself was sad but geesh you can't be so stupid to halt yourself from dating someone because of an incident. You can't just let a past incident determine your choices.

[RachelBrigs]

But its mindsets like yours that only perpetuate the problem.

[DodgersGM]

If you reject this girl based on those reasons, then you just become a part of the problem. It's your choice, though.

[Nuggethead]

You have a deep meaning behind your reason and that may be fair enough. But then again if you have mixed race kids it won't nessesarily be the same for them.

[yellowmamba024]

Ehhh it happens. It's not unreasonable, although not the best reason to reject someone. You have your own standards so don't feel bad about it.