Girls, How Can I Tell If You're Single or With Someone At A Bar or Club?

Are there any signals, behaviors, or body language that may help me decipher whether or not the guys around girls all night are their boyfriends, their dates, or just guys at the bar trying to get lucky with them? A lot of times I will see 3 or 4 girls with the same pack of 5 or 6 guys hovering around them all night, everywhere they go. But at the end of the night the girls will all leave to go home and the guys will stay and start trying to move on to other chicks to hit on. But to me, they all look like they're all boyfriend & girlfriend. Also, I have a cousin who is in college who told me if you see a big group of people who are in their early 20s/college age, who all enter together and stay together as a group the entire night, often times these people are actually all singles hoping to meet someone. But to the casual observer, you would never know that. While these groups are all aware that they are just 8 or 9 single men & women who came out together as friends, to me they just look like a bunch of couples instead. So, are there any tips you can give to help me decipher whether the guys hovering around them all night are actually their dates or boyfriends, or just other single guys from the bar who are just bothering them by this point and these girls would actually welcome someone new approaching them?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Yes: assume they're single unless it's clear they're not. Because it's pretty much impossible to tell sometimes, and you only limit your options by assuming they have a boyfriend already. It's better to just reach out if you're interested in someone and find out for yourself. As long as you're respectful, shouldn't cause any problems.

    • Okay. Let me ask you this... Does approaching a woman even though other men are around her factor into what women mean when they talk about men being confident? As in the confidence to step in despite other guys crowding around her? Also: No, that's not always true. I've had more than a few encounters that went waaay too far and got out of control simply by talking to a single girl when other guys who weren't even with her, who were also just single dudes like myself hitting on her. It's extremely competitive where I live with a male:female ratio very out of whack. It's not uncommon to see as high as a 5 males : 1 female ratio many nights. That doesn't even include the women who are actually attractive. If you broke it down even further to the average-to-good looking women, it's as high as a 8 : 1 ratio. Because of the immaturity of a lot of the younger dudes, they believe getting into a fight is a good way to impress girls too. So, no; simply stepping in can be dangerous sometimes.

    • And I'm not even talking about doing or saying anything rude, confrontational, or disrespectful either. I mean simply being courteous yet impressionable, and things can spiral out of control quickly. Especially because I usually go to these places alone without any friends with me. These guys who have had a few and have their buddies with them get way too territorial and start thinking that ganging up & fighting somebody will close the deal somehow... or maybe just blow off their own frustration. Either way, it can be a tight rope you have to carefully navigate more times than you'd like.

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