Girls, is there still a chance now that she knows what my situation was, even though there is already someone else?

A little under a year ago a friend and I went out on a date. I didn't realize it at the time but I was going through possibly the roughest time of my life with other things, but I didn't want to miss the opportunity to ask her out. She said she wasn't ready or looking for a relationship right now but would never meet up and tell me why. She would only want to hang out as friends. Every time I wanted to meet up to tell her what was going on, she denied me and got all upset. It hurt very me very badly. Keep in mind that I have been working my tail off to be a better person again. We didn't see each other all summer but talked a few times and when I was able to see her next I asked if she wanted to meet up for a drink and she said she was seeing someone. Of course, I wasn't too happy about it and cut her off. The next week I see her 4 out of 5 days. I got ahold of her and said that we need to talk in person. At first she said it was something that I need to leave in the past but as soon as I started telling her what has been going on in my life and why I haven't been myself, she couldn't even look me in the eyes. She apologized for everything and I told her that I respect her and both of us deserve to be happy. I also mentioned that this is the situation that turns most guys into douchebags, but I am going to be better than that and told her that I don't want to lose her as a friend because she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Still she could not look me in the eyes. I also told her that I know what I have to offer; I'm 23 and a guy who has a full time job, pays his own mortgage, insurance, I own my own car, boat, and motorcycle. Which all of that I have worked for over my life. After we talked we went out to meet up with some friends, I was having fun and she ended up sitting by herself on a chair in the corner and when she left she gave me a big hug like never before. Could she still be interested now knowing what I was going through?
Her and I are very alike and have a lot of the same interests. Is this something that could be on her mind at all after we talked? And is it a possibility she could come back. This guys she is seeing now she went to middle school with and I feel like she is just jumping in a relationship just because...
I also told her that this is why I've been trying to talk in person but every time she would deny me because she thought I was being clingy. I also said that we could have worked things out and this outcome could be completely different..


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What Girls Said 1

  • nope. She was never interested and tried to let you down gently. You made her feel bad that she didn't just cut you off and instead you thought there would be more when really she was hoping you would take the hint...

    I have been in this situation a lot over my life and we like you as friends but dont like the discomfort of 'the talk' so we skate over it every time or we aren't available. Hoping that eventually you will move on before we do but we know you will take the hint when we get a boyfriend.

    I am sorry I was blunt but she hugged you so tight because she felt so terrible that she wasn't there when you needed her most (or didn't know it). In the end, while I am sorry you went through all of that, she did tell you she didn't want to date you and has been up front about this.

    Please move on to someone else as she is not looking to get romantically involved. :( you are keeping your eyes focussed on her and potentially missing an incredible girl because of it xx


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