Past experience is holding me back. Is there hope?

Years ago, as a preteen I was sexually assaulted. At first I didn't think it it affected me much. But I just messed up a potential relationship. I don't like my wrists or waist being touched. This guy I like tried to snuggle with an arm across my chest and I wouldn't say I had a flash back but all I could think about was that claustrophobic feeling I had when I was assaulted. When he kissed me, I started to shake and was overly nervous since this was the first kiss I'd had since I was assulted. I didn't feel comfortable telling this guy why I didn't like all the contact, now I feel like I'm losing him. At the same time I don't want to dump all these damaged goods on him. Besides, I think he's already set his sights on another girl.


Most Helpful Guy

  • If he really cares about you, he'll understand. If not, good riddance you need someone who will be understanding of your situation. And if you aren't already you may want to seek professional help for the trauma you experienced.

    • At the time I spoke up about it, to my school and he was suspended for a week. That's it. My parents never knew and over 5 years later, still dont know. The only other person who kinda knows is a friend who was assaulted by the same person.

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    • It's too little too late for me. My best chance is to keep pushing forward.

    • It's never too late. Get help, that's the best way to move forward. Doing something like that on your own can be very hard. I won't say it's not possible to move on from such an experience on your own, but I'm sure it's extremely hard to do.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Perhaps you should try to relax and let someone love you like you deserve.
    I feel like if you trust him, you should tell him. If he is worth it, he will stay.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You got to tell him other wise he is he's just gonna get really confused

    • Its really complicated. His last serious girlfriend was mentally ill and cried wolf that he raped her when he tried to break up with her. I don't want him to think I'm the same way or think less of me.

What Girls Said 0

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