Out of curiosity, any of you fit that description? I'm 21, and I'm trying to date guys my own age because we just tend to have more in common, and are at similar stages in life, but I keep running into guys in their late 20's and early 30's instead. Or they're running into me, lol. Either way, I like how they're often masculine, mature, over just hooking up and all that, tend to have a decent understanding of women and how to treat one, etc. but I wish I could find those qualities in a younger guy.
Most Helpful Guy
There aren't any... or at least, there are very, very few of them, and those few will tend to be busy, HIGHLY-sought after, or already taken. You'll be competing with every girl your age for the highly-sought-after, very rare single ones.
Nearly all people do what they feel gives them the most value at the time. As a 21 year old woman, you value relationships (and there is a strong biological basis for that - your body is at peak baby-making age). But 21-year-old men are in the prime of their sexual peak years, and men are driven to value freedom and to desire variation. Plus, this age puts many guys in college, away from their parents' eyes and reach (often for the first time), and from a societal point of view, there's little benefit in him committing to one girl at that age. So, he's rather party, bang as many girls as he can, and have fun without the work, hassles, and expectations of a commitment.
I know you're frustrated that guys don't understand your desire for a relationship (really, I do), but girls don't understand that, while guys find many parts of a relationship to be great, there are lots of parts of a relationship that are a pain in the ass. Women crave time and attention - far more than most guys would choose to give on their own - plus guys are obligated to be breadwinners (it's still a very strong social expectation) when they're in a relationship. And his sexual peak years only come once, and if he misses his chance to freely bang girls during that time (especially if he's in college, surrounded by thousands of single, age-appropriate women), he'll probably regret it forever.
Bottom line is: men and women your age want VERY different things, and our biologies reinforce those differences, and due to changes in society over the last 50 years, our interests have only diverged.
So, your choices are:
- date older men who are past that age, and ready to "settle down"
- date the shy, immature, less-confident, less attractive guys who would appreciate a relationship (and who have few options other than remaining single and lonely)
- compete for the rare young guy who is what all girls your age want (you'd better be a 10, or close to it, in his eyes, because he has thousands to choose from)
- remain single and/or celibate2
Most Helpful Girl
Sadly, there are not many who are interested in such things. Most guys of your (our) age are typically interested in having fun and participating in various immature activities. It's kind of difficult to find someone serious, mature and masculine.
Maybe you should try dating older guys?0