What should I say to him?

Now before anyone says it, yes, I know I'm jealous and probably over thinking.

A friend and I startedto date right before each of us moved away for school. We said we wanted to try and keep things going. He gave me a lot of crap about how much he respects me and all that.

Well he's away at school and I understand he's busy. But I hardly hear from him. I can get maybe one or two messages from him at a time. He'll text me for as long as it takes me to discuss whats happening on my end but as soon as I ask about him, he doesn't reply. If he does its all very short and it seems like he's just replying to be polite. Although from time to time he does text me first.

Then any time I suggest we get together on a weekend he always says he's got too much homework.

Then I keep seeing on his snapchat story this girl he keeps hanging out with. He takes pictures of her and I can tell they're in his dorm and there is never context, just a picture. Instantly I'm jealous. She's so much prettier and thinner than me and she's actually going to a university ( I am not)

I had my hopes up so high, now I feel like I'm being lead on since he hasn't said anything about our relationship. I know I need to confront him. But I don't know how. I don't want to seem angry (although I kinda am) or clingy.

I've thought about texting him, saying, "should I give up on hoping that anything will continue between us? Just tell me now. I'm not looking to be strung along or be put on the "back burner", been there, done that and its not a good feeling."


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmm this is a hard one. One thing I've learned is you don't ask questions with a negative suggestion. I do think you have reason to be upset. you're not over reacting, but you need to be very careful on how you confront him. Keep it polite leave out any accusations. I would maybe ask him how he's been feeling about the relationship. Maybe starting to ask him about his day first will help him elaborate on what's new with him. This girl COULD be just a friend. I do believe a woman knows when it's more than that but until you're told otherwise or have reason to believe you got to keep that jealous bug out of the relationship. However if something he does upsets you or makes you uncomfortable like hanging out with her in his dorm, you do need to tell him. Just let him know how it makes you feel. You can't tell him what to do, it's his choice, but you need to let him know how you honestly feel.

    • The thing is, we never decided that we were exclusive. We'd only been out on like 2 dates. We said we'd "try" a relationship. Its feels like he hasn't tried at all. So because we're not a developed relationship I don't have any right telling him that I don't like him hanging out with this girl in his dorm and etc.

    • Oh I see. I miss understood. Well then just ask him how he feels it's going. And if you're unhappy with it not being exclusive then you need to tell him. If he doesn't want to be exclusive then you need to let him go. Otherwise you will just hurt your self over and over

    • I'm unsure how to word how i feel and what i want to say to him.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Personally I don't think you need to say anything. While you guys agreed to try to keep things going doesn't look to me like you guys are exclusive so just run on with your life and if he decides he wants to give it a shot he'll contact you. Really, there is no point in trying to reign him in, you guys are in college, you've got new lives starting so just get on with it like he has.

    • Although that's true, that we're not exclusive. I'm not looking for flings or just someone to have "fun" with. I want a real relationship. And if thats not what he wants then he needs to tell me instead of letting me believe that he genuinely liked me and has all this deep respect for me.

    • Show All
    • I'm actually nit in school quite yet. Yeah, I want a real exclusive relationship. Of course he's free to hang out with whoever he likes, but having that reassurance of where we stand is nice. He doesn't have to talk to me every day but I'd like to know about the big things going on during his week. And I don't think wanting to see him or twice a month when we're only an hour apart is too much to ask.
      Before he left he said he wanted to try and continue what we had going, but there's been nothing so far that's really told me that he really wants to. He hasn't made an effort.

    • *once or twice a month

What Girls Said 0

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