I told a girl I'm pretty lost.. was it a bad idea?

When I went on a date I was just myself I didn't try to really impress her with any lies. Told her since I got out of the military I've been really lost in college.. I know my major but I just can't really adjust back like that. Dtold her in still really finding myself. Told her my goals and what not and I'm working towards them all but I think 20s are just all about finding yourself and trying everything you can.

  • Bad idea. Have sex with her and then let things flow.
    Vote A
  • That's fine. Honesty is more attractive than superficial lies
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • No.
    A deep conversation like that was what made me fall in love with my fiance. He had been calling me for a few weeks and I was ignoring him. I thought he was just another player, so I had no interest in him. One night, we wound up sitting on the steps of a friend's house and he opened up to me, telling me about some sensitive stuff out of nowhere. I guess he was just feeling stressed that night. I realized then that I had him all wrong and that he was human after all. I started answering his calls then. Now, we're planning our wedding.


Most Helpful Guy

  • In my experience it's a bad idea. I've done this before, thinking we were relating to each other, but I feel like it was a big part of why things went wrong. It's a bad idea to tell her anything that might be considered a weakness. There is definitely such a thing as "too much information" before you are officially in a relationship. Bad habits, insecurities, self-doubt or self-loathing, uncertainty in life, complaining, indecision, anything embarrassing or emasculating should be avoided. Too much talk about your feelings should be avoided until after she says it's a relationship. You just can't let your guard down before the relationship is officially established.

    It's all about making as good of an impression as possible, and early. From my experience, women are more receptive to men who have a purpose or direction in life.

    I don't like that this is true, and I do feel like it's a shame people can't be more open with each other. But it's how most people work.

    • I agree. A lot of us just voted "B" because that's what we want to be true, including myself, but sadly "A" is the truth.

    • I'm not saying to lie. I'm just saying, you can make yourself look good or you can make yourself look bad, and first impressions can be tough to shake. I used to think that sharing my problems with a girl (who shared her problems with me) was showing confidence because I showing a willingness to be open to someone, but they don't view it as confidence. They see it as over-sharing. They just view it as you giving them a laundry list of all the reasons they shouldn't date you.

      You don't want to be "just friends", to hell with that. I think you might be okay, but try to be more mindful of the things you talk about with this girl, until you are in a relationship.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • I see no big deal in being an Honest John in Something a simple as this. At least she has an idea of where you stand in life as a man.
    However, I would probably tell you it was a Bad apple' of an 'Idea' if you had told her something not so simple simon like "I have issues in depression."
    Good luck. xxoo

  • It's fine.
    A lot of people are the same.

    • Lol that picture is very attractive.. beautiful

  • I would think maybe she was kinda special if you told her all those things and don't usually do it, yet next thing you ask if you should just have sex with her...
    Guess you're not looking for a serious relationship, so what's the problem?

    I voted B, by the way.

    • Im not looking for anything specifically. If it happens it happens. Till then just vibe and have a good time.

    • Well, exactly. But what I'm trying to say is, don't be too lost in your own 'just going with the wind' that you aren't able to identify when a good thing comes along.

      But again, based on your opening text, as of the moment you're not looking for a serious relationship.

What Guys Said 3

  • There is no reason to lie. You should be interesting enough to tell the truth.
    It's ok to reveal that stuff as long as she's listen.
    Still, try to hit that as soon as possible, women appreciate that you honestly want to instead of artificially waiting for some dumb reason.

  • It's good to be honest.

  • I vote B.