Just not that into me? Too much too soon?

im recently divorced. just started dating someone that also just got out of a relationship. He actually left his girlfriend to start dating me because I expressed interest in him. He also has a three months old from this past relationship that takes a lot of his time. I have children of my own and feel I always make time for him. not sure if im over thinking it because I've been out of the dating game for a long time but is it normal not to get together on a weekly basis? Some background, we work together and see each other everyday n spend our lunches together. The first couple weeks of our relationship he texted every night n we hung out made places every weekend. It's now a month in and I feel I'm always reaching out to him to get together. When we're together he seems so into me but then I don't heard from him for the whole weekend. Sometimes he makes plans with me then cancels. And sometimes we make plans and have an awesome time. I asked him if he was still into "us" and he said absolutely. I'm confused. Am I over thinking this? Your advise is appreciated :)


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What Guys Said 2

  • It is true that some people do get overwhelmed with work, school, family life, relationships, so it can be extremely difficult to juggle all of those things. With that said, the whole point of a relationship is for both parties to support each other. And sometimes that means making sacrifices for the other person. You for him, and him for you. Now, you don't really feel like he's reaching out to you as much as you are to him, so balance it by contacting him as much as he's contacting you. I'm dating a girl right now who isn't big into hanging out too often because she has a busy schedule. So instead of overwhelming her with guilt because she can't hang out, I let her know when I'm available and let her tell me when she'd like to go out. So with this guy, if you give him some space to actually take some action and then you notice that he hasn't really done very much, then it could be he's just not that interested or just keeping you on the hook because he likes you but not enough to work with your schedule. It's important to date someone who is considerate to your time and needs, and if he isn't meeting them, you need to date someone who is. I know you're scared because you like him and he's leveled with you because you have kids and finding a good guy who can accept that is harder than most suspect. But you matter too. Your feelings matter. And don't worry, there will be a guy out there, if not this guy, who can and will meet those needs. But before you completely get overwhelmed with thinking he doesn't care, just talk to him. Communicate your feelings and that you want to spend more time together. He might tell you he is really busy but explain to him that you need him to put more of an effort into spending time with you. If he care's, he'll find the time. It might not even be right now. He might tell you that he can spend way more time with you in two weeks, at least then he's trying. Hope any of that helps.

    • great advice :) Thank you!

  • you may be over thinking this as people always have busy lives and sometimes things come up that can't be helped


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