She declines a second date (got the old 'not ready for a relationship at the moment') but gives me a gift. What is she trying to say?

I went on a date with this amazing girl the other week. We had a good time (at least I think) but after the date she writes to me saying that she just got out of 3 year relationship, have just found some comfort being by herself, and that she doesn't want a relationship with anyone at the moment.

As a guy, that translated to "I don't want a relationship... with you." She wrote she was happy to discuss with me more about it and to explain what she means if it didn't make sense to me, but I didn't take up on that. Who wants to hear rejection again in person? I responded no problem, water under the bridge, moving on. Of course I am disappointed.

We still work together on this project for school. We talk mostly through email. I'm still trying to be friendly as were before. Last week we were supposed to meet up to work together (simply for work) and she flaked last minute. I felt a bit insulted. It's already over, she was very clear on her position... why is she flaking? I wonder if it's anything I'm saying or doing.

And then a week later, she sends me a gift with a letter wishing me happy holidays and hopes that I'm doing well (the gift is a dessert for this holiday we both sort of observe).

I guess I'm a bit annoyed and also confused. What does a gift mean? Do girls give guys gifts after rejecting them? We could be friendly in a work capacity, without gifts.

Gifts are very meaningful to me. They carry a sense of reciprocation. Unfortunately, I don't have anything to reciprocate at the moment, except to accept and say thanks I guess?


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What Girls Said 1

  • She doesn't want a relationship
    She did want your fee work on her project = a meeting to smooth things over
    She didn't know how to handle the meeting = flaked out
    She sent gift to smooth things over

    Do you see a pattern here what WILL be repeated over, over the rest of any relationship with this gal?
    Good riddance
    Now less time on her, more time shopping for Ms. RIght


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