Do you think it's wrong to settle for someone you don't like?

From my dating experience, I've dated tons of girls and had hookups, flings here and there but no serious relationship, not even the boyfriend-girlfriend title.

That being said, it wasn't that nobody wanted me. It's just the ones who did wanna keep seeing me, I had no interest in and vice versa.

There's a girl I met off POF who moved from out of state recently and we've had 2 dates in the span of a month. I get along with her fine and we have a few common interests but I'm not really physically attracted to her, she used misleading pictures, and she was moving very fast for my tastes. For example, we had our first date and kissed and then she had a laundry list of stuff she wanted to do months in advance like watch movies at her place, go camping, etc.

I mean she didn't talk about being in a relationship, kids, or anything like that but I thought it was a bit much considering I just met her and wasn't sure about her. Not to mention that she lives far and we both have different work schedules which makes it a challenge already.

The main point is even though I've never had a serious relationship, don't you think it's bad to date someone just for the sake of being in one?

I mean I'm not trying to sound entitled to the ones I like but dating people I have no feelings for just seems like a waste of my time and theirs and very unfair to the other person. It's like why date someone when you don't see it going anywhere and would rather be with someone else?

Dating shouldn't be, I'm being with all these people I care nothing about. And usually the ones I show little to no interest in are the ones who want to stick around. I tried not making myself too available or rush with the ones I do see myself dating but it still never pans out. I'm not giving up though. I'm just not gonna date for the sake of dating or to prove others I can get a girlfriend. It just seems desperate.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree. I don't want to date anyone that I don't see myself with long term. That's always been my goal. It didn't work out that way the first couple of times, but at this point I refuse to settle. I'm not interested in dating a million guys. And I'm not settling for less than what I deserve. I've been there and done that, never again.

    • Yeah it's tough but also my fault for not telling the girls I'm not interested in them and keep seeing them but usually it's their fault because they used misleading pictures.

    • I mean I'm not the pickiest guy but I still have standards. Same goes for girls that are attractive but I have nothing in common with and they don't do anything to further the conversation and give one word replies.

    • Well yeah, you should never settle. You'll only end up regretting it and possibly hurting someone.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yes it is. A waste of time. And disrespectful.

    • Yeah I'm trying to figure out how to tell the girl in not interested without having any drama in the end. I'm not gonna tell her that I'm not physically attracted because that'd be a douchey move but should I tell her I just don't feel it or that it won't work out due to the distance/conflict in schedules?

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    • I meant by physical attraction then she would feel that I led her on. But yeah I agree if she doesn't like it then there's not much she can do

    • People fall out of attraction often enough. Its better than saying you settled :/ she'll be ok

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