How do I know if my boyfriend is taking advantage of my generosity and willingness to be giving?

He tells me that giving in relationships can be unequal. I feel like I give a lot more, and I feel like he's taking advantage of it.

For example, he stopped by because he thought he left his wallet in my apartment, and may not have money to get gas. I helped him look for his wallet, but it wasn't in my apartment. Then he said he was hungry, and so I cooked for him. After dinner, he said had to go work, and need to go back to his place. I told him that I felt like he was taking advantage of me.

He told me that his dad was having a party, and he was going, and wanted to stay the night to spend time with his dad. I felt like he really didn't want me to go. I know I'm not part of his family because I'm not his wife, but I felt left behind. Whenever my family and I have gatherings, he was always included no matter what, and I give him the option of joining or not joining. He does not. He decides for me, like he doesn't want to share his family.

He only finds the bad things, and remembers them. He never remembers the good things that I do for him, how I support him, and I'm there to listen.

We broke up and got back together again in the span of 24 hours. When we got back, he told me he wants to be with me long-term, but is afraid that he doesn't know how to fix things. I told him he needs to be more appreciative of the things I do for him, not constantly break up with me then beg me to get back with him, take stock of the good not just the bad, and just show affection for each other. I need him to reciprocate.

I know it's not his fault for taking advantage of me, if he is. It's more of my fault for staying with him. He's going through a funk in his life (lack of job), and I understand that he's prioritizing that. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm number 2 or second best (esp. when he constantly breaks up with me, and tells me I start the fights, etc.)

How do I know that someone is not taking advantage of me?


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  • He totally is! So easy to tell