Why are we having these fights and what does it mean?

We keep having a lot of the same fights. Last night this was our fight:
My boyfriend was in the shower and i use his phone to play this game I can't get on my phone so i thought ill just kill time playing it. Well it wouldn't load so i start kinda clicking around. I ran across an old ex conversation. I have gone through is phone, laptop and etc ever since I met him and I tell him after i do it. He got frustrated the first time i did it but the other times he said idc. So i didn't think he would care. I didn't even put the phone back where it was or try to hid it. As soon as he came in i wanted to talk about what I saw. I said i wanna talk to but you not get upset. I saw that your ex was trying to get you to open up and like see where you are with the relationship and you said what you say to me: "if i didn't want to be with you I wouldn't date you" he says that to me everytime. Well two months later he totally blind sided the girl broke her heart and said were just friends. So of course I am like well how do i know thats not going to happen to me. He said the same thing to her. He flips a lid, he is pissed i went his phone. He is ugly says i am a pyshco and i tell him he is being a jerk /dick to me. I try to talk i start crying saying. That i just wanted to talk about it and just be reassured that thats not the case with me. wouldn't you be concerned and he said no. It went on and on and I started opening up bc this is what i deal with a lot. I sometimes have somethng that i just want to talk about and hear his feelings and get deep. He used to do that we used to sit and talk for hours and he would tell me anything. But now its been over a year of dating. When I cry and vent feelings on the phone he says nothing back just sits in silence and i ask aren't you going to say something and he says no i dont have to. This happens every time I just want to talk about something. He thinks I am trying to start a fight and that i do this to him all the time. I think its good to talk an


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like your guy fails to understand you and the things you need in a relationship, and also. if nothing needs hiding, then why is he trying to hide by starting a fight? maybe your not as compatible as you first thought because he seems to just let you have your moment but does not try to reassure your emotions, and if you don't feel assured, then your always going to feel this way, so really, he needs to make a bit more effort towards you unless his heart is no longer in the relationship, good luck, x

    • thats my thoughts that he isn't in this as much as he wants or thinks he is.

    • or he's not in it as much as he has made you believe he is. Its a tough one, and one only you can decide unfortunately, but if you feel you deserve better, then go with that, because being with someone worthy of you makes all the difference, x

Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, it seems more like you that's the problem. You don't trust in the fact that he loves you and wants to be exclusive to you, so you keep searching hoping you can find a way to prove yourself right. If you can't trust him and the fact that he loves you and isn't going to throw you away, then you shouldn't even be with the guy.

    • so you think its okay to be with a guy who hangs out with you, tells you he loves you and thats it. He doesn't express himself to you ever, and never goes out of his way for you? Like never.

    • If he isn't doing enough for you then why do you stay then? If you're so unhappy about your needs not being properly met and he refuses to the solution would be to find someone who will instead of being upset that the person you're with isn't the person you want.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You two are not meant for each other and you know it but refuse to do anything about it. The constant fighting is a sign of your frustration. Since you refuse to break up, this is the result with which you must live.


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