Guys, Why play unnecessary love games?

When I was married, I started seeing another married man. We both agreed that we were just enjoying each others company but then he started to speak of love and us living together. I did love him and told him so but I wouldn't answer about us living together. He asked several times and I eventually said yes. We discussed where we would live and when we would move. A week later he disappeared and that was almost 2 months ago without contact. Can anyone she'd light on this behavior? I never pressured him or asked him to leave his family. Why treat me as if I'm some crazy woman who might stalk him? We agreed that we would tell the other when it was over. If this was a game it was extreme and completely unnecessary. I know that it was wrong for us to see each other but I still don't believe I deserved the ghost act.

Thank you all. Your comments were enlightening.
I regret that decision. Before meeting him I was the wife of a cheating husband and never thought I would stoop so low.


Most Helpful Guy

  • He panicked when he realised what he was getting into and figured the best course of action was to remove the temptation (you) completely.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Why would you get involved with a married man, and why would he get involved with you? Suppose you both divorced your current spouses and then married each other. Why would you think that he would not do the same thing to you that he did to his first wife? And why would he trust you?

    It sounds like he decided to try to save his marriage and the only way for him to accomplish that was to totally sever all ties with you. It was not about anything that you did or deserved; it was about convincing himself that it was really over, ending it in a way that would make it very unlikely that he could ever go back to you.

    • Thank you

    • My response was somewhat harsh because I am recently divorced and I suspect that my wife was having an affair. We are all human, all imperfect, all sinners, and I regret it if I sounded too judgmental. I read the update and somewhat understand how this happened. It is never too late to learn from your mistakes and to make yourself a better person. I'm sure that you have reflected on this very much so I hope you have made some internal adjustments and are ready to proceed with a renewed commitment to being the best person that you can be.

    • Your comment is exactly how I would have responded a year ago. I needed that reminder. Yes I have been making internal adjustments to correct what led me here.

  • Maybe his wife found out and killed him?

    • I had a first date with a wonderful lady who disappeared from contact after the next morning. She was single and I am single but she had an ex-boyfriend who she said had stalked her. She and I live in different cities, about an hour apart, and I did not want to go there and do anything which appeared "stalkerish," but I did check the obituaries in her hometown newspaper for two weeks. She didn't respond to texts, emails, phone calls. . . and I was not pressuring her for anything. In fact, I said, "If you changed your mind about wanting to date me, that's okay but just let me know that you are okay." It's still a mystery to me. . . but I guess that she probably ended up reuniting with the ex-boyfriend. C'est la vie!

    • @OlderAndWiser yeah you never know in situations like that , I did say that half jokingly but you never know anything is possible but more than likely he just severed all ties and wanted to fix his marriage we hope