I've never gone out with a guy and I dont know how to act?

I've never gone out with a guy. I've been talking to a guy lately over text and he wants to go out. The thing is that I'm really nervous. I've never done this before. What if he doesn't like me? Who pays? How do I act? What do I say? I've never even kissed a guy. Please help. I really like him but I'm so scared. I dont want him to think I'm an idiot or something.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I say be honest and let him know you've never been on a date before, this gives him a frame of reference (hopefully he's a nice guy!) have coffee with him somewhere, a coffeeshop is great because there are other people around and its not intimate, its great for a first meeting! Go dutch! Mention that ahead of time too. Even if he was paying he should never expect ANYTHING just because he paid.
    Just act like yourself and dress comfortable. Treat him like you would any of your friends. Trust me, he most likely will be nervous too :).
    If he likes you online then as long as your online self is how you really are then he will like you fine. You didn't say if you know what each other looks like, so that might be the only mystery factor.
    ... believe it or not, with the exception of my very first date (met her at a feed store out in the country!) and my wife (met her at work) EVERY other girl I dated I met online, heh.
    Dont worry too much about what to talk about, that usually takes care of itself! If you're really worried have a girlfriend sit off to the side in the coffee shop and signal her to call you if you need saved and want an easy out by having her call you, or flag her that you're happy and she can go ;)

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    • in my culture the guy ALWAYS pays but i feel so weird. i dont like it when people pay for me but its rude for a girl to even offer to pay. we shared pictures so i know how he looks and he knows how i look. i dont want to tell him that im nervous because he goes out often and i dont want him to think less of me even though he's a really nice guy :(

Most Helpful Girl

  • Girrll if he wants wants to go out he likes you. the guy doesn't always have to pay because that's like a sexist thing but I think that the first date he should at least pay , what I do is I take out my money and if he tells me to put it away or that he'll pay then I put it away because it doesn't look good if you just expect him to pay ALWAYS have money on you when you go on a date. Just act normal if your nervous just take deep breaths and just make conversation like ask if he has any siblings , what he wants to be , just things about him so you can learn more about him. DO NOT over think kissing because the more you overthink it the worse your gonna do just go with the flow everything's gonna be FINE👌🏼😊

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What Guys Said 28

  • The goal of a date should be to just have fun and get to know each other a bit. Laugh, tease playful, try something new, sit and talk. Just DON'T do something where you can't interact with each other, like a movie. Once the evening dies down and the energy level lowers, then you can talk about deeper and more meaningful subjects, but when in doubt keep it fun and don't force serious conversation.

    As far as who should pay, the guy should. Women may not need a guy to provide for them, but biologically women are still attracted to guys who can provide and men are attracted to women who accept their providing. Just smile, say thank you and don't make it awkward by making a huge deal about it.

    I recently went out with a woman and she said thank you like a dozen times for a $3 coffee and $4 ice cream. Saying thank you once is polite, say thank you every 5 minutes is creepy and weird. And besides, the biggest way to show how thankful you are to a guy is to have lots of fun.

    Don't worry about kissing. Kissing is like baking cookies, there are some very basic rules you follow, like don't slobber, but there's no one right way to do it. There's hundreds of cookie recipes that are delicious. You can look online for kissing tips, but don't think there's "right way", just have fun.

    And don't worry about if he likes you or not. There are 7 billion people on the planet, so there's plenty of other guys out there if he's not the one for you. That's the biggest mistake I see people make, settling for someone who they think is a good match, instead of being patient and waiting for someone who is an awesome match.

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    • I would agree with everything here except about who pays. Personally I wouldn't make a huge deal about it if he continued to insist on paying, but I would rather split the bill. If we started going out more, then I'd be more okay with him paying all himself sometimes, but not on the first date. I don't think it's fair that he has to feel obligated to do that. If I offered to split it and he refused, I'd ask him if he was sure, and if he still insisted, let him. But otherwise I'd rather split it.

    • Show All
    • @lonerider You're spot on, especially for the last one--" the situation is solutionless anyway so what can we achieve by sharing?" I figure no one else can fix all that goes wrong in my head, so I rarely see the point in talking about it. Except for a couple people, who understand completely. So maybe you wouldn't be so bad to open up to.

    • @InconspicuousBox Exactly. What do you have to lose, right? I am anonymous to you, you're anonymous to me. You can either gain or be indifferent. Take a chance :)

  • The most important thing is to remain calm and friendly, keep eye contact with the other person and be sure to ask each other lots of questions to get to know each other. Try not to overcomplicate things, so ask about important things such as his job, hobbies, family, pets, other interests etc. Since it is your first date with the guy, you can never ask too many questions since the purpose of the first date is to get to know the other person as much as you can so you can make a decision whether or not you will be compatible. Like I said, just remain calm, don't overcomplicate the questions and be yourself. Also it always helps to smile.

    I'll give you a bit more advice as to what us guys like. Every guy is different but this is me personally… Make sure you shower before you meet him and make sure you smell really nice, which to me is the most important thing I look for in a girl (cleanliness and nice smelling) after compatibility of course. Also try not to wear any make up, preferably none at all. I know it sounds silly but I am always naturally attracted to the girls that haven't got any make up on because they look natural and then I know exactly what they will look like without having any make up on. I actually find make up very off-putting, desperate, trashy and kind of attention seeking, I don't understand why girls think they need it. Foundation, glitter & cheek colours is a big no, no! Lipstick and eyeliner should be reserved for special occasions, not a date in my opinion. I'm not trying to tell you how to wear your make up, I'm just saying that I have been attracted to a fair few girls (more than 10) that looked really pretty, only for them to turn up on the date with loads of make up on, like caked to their face. It's total overkill and it literally makes me want to wash it all off their faces. Natural is best.

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    • i have some acne spots that i will be getting bleached soon (or whatever my derm says haha!) and they make me very insecure. any tips on how to look more natural with makeup from a guy's point of view? i have good eyebrows and all the spots are just a problem.

    • If you have acne then obviously use some foundation to cover it up. I think in this instance it would be better to use some make up (foundation) than to not use any at all. My point however was that about 3 in every 4 guys that I know prefer girls that look natural and don't cover themselves in make up. Good luck!

  • Here are some expert tips:

    1) As soon as you possibly can, tell him you want to practice kissing. When you kiss him, make sure it lasts a very long time and your tongue enters his mouth. This is very hot and will ensure he likes you.

    2) If he is receptive to this, and you enjoyed the kissing, tell him you are eager to have sex with him as soon as possible (unless this isn't true; once it is, say so).

    3) If he asked you out, he likes you now. Just don't blow it by being a drag.

    4) Make sure you wear something that shows off your chest. It will show him you like him and that you are horny.

    5) Offer to pay, but if he pays, it's a good sign. It means he expects to have sex later. If you pay, it might tell him you want to friendzone him.

    6) Most of this up until now, with the exception of (5), is a joke.

    7) Jokes are funny when they are true.

    8) Be comfortable. Do only stuff you are comfortable with. Try to make him feel comfortable, and don't be afraid to set limits while still letting him know you like him.

    9) An important word is "pacing." Look up the definition. Make sure things go at a pace you are comfortable with. If he isn't concerned with your comfort, he's not a good match for you. Real men respect women.

    10) Don't think too much about how to act or what to say. Be your natural self. Everyone comes with a personality; that personality will appeal to some and turn off others. That's what dating is all about.

    11) Have fun. People like to be around others who are having fun. Fun is contagious. If you are enjoying yourself, he will enjoy himself too. If the activity isn't fun on its own, make it fun. Don't take anything too seriously.

    12) Laugh at his jokes, even if they are lame. Laugh and tell him the joke was lame. If he tells a dumb joke, retort with a better one. This is called "banter" and is the basis for the best relationships. It is making it fun for both of you.

    13) Good luck and I hope you get laid! :D

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  • Tips in my opinion. 1. Don't kiss him until you're absolutely sure he's OK with it. 2. Cuddle up, unless he gets uncomfortable. A head on his shoulder during the movie is perfect. 3. Hold hands! Again, if he's OK with it. 4. Small talk! Tell him more about yourself, and ask him questions about his life, too! 5 . If you do kiss, do not suck on the lips. Just press your lips to his until it feels right. 6. Plan another date! 7. Meet his parents, act nice. You can't make them feel nervous about you dating him. 8. No "I love you" yet. Maybe after 7 or 8 dates, but not on a 1st. 9. Enjoy yourself, don't be nervous! ---hope I could help!

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  • Pretty much what @Mikietalks said. As for him thinking less of you, don't worry about that I cannot see why any one would, plus acknowledging your ignorance of dating will in fact cover you for pretty much anything, its the best safety net you can have. Honestly if anything I think he would probably be much more relaxed after hearing that which will make you much more relaxed. Not only that but it will give you a conversation starter.

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  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUMmNB58Zig
    That's the ticket right there.

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  • Well, have you ever gone out with a friend for drinks or a bite to eat? Either one friend or a small group of friends? I've never been on a date either and I know the kind of anxiety you're feeling... but a date is kind of like that, except the person you're with is someone you're romantically attracted to.

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  • Tell him this is your first time and just be yourself. He's as nervous as you

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  • First of all, be yourself. You do it for fun, not to prove something. Second of all, bring money and insist on "everyone pays for himself/ herself". If he insists on paying after the 3rd time and looks at you and says "I'll pay. Please." or something like that, you're allowed to give up. So in short: be yourself, bring money.

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    • I red my text again. Not that you misunderstand. I dont mean after the 3rd date when I said "After the 3rd time" I mean when he says that he pays on the first date and you decline and he says it again and you decline then you can accept it after his 3rd time of saying that he does pay.

  • Firstly I would say your feeling about this is normal since you have never gone out with a guy , however I also think you are overthinking about these things. Please calm down and try to relax. I know it's easier said than done.

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  • Just smile... don't be afraid of body contact meaning you don't have to worry about kissing or hugs... thats natural... you have control since you are the woman as to if you want to have sex or not. Make nice convorsation and act like you two are best friends

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  • What if he doesn't like you? -> He already likes you because otherwise he wouldn't have asked you out.

    Who pays? -> If he doesn't say anything about the paying, you can either say that you will pay everything, or you can say that you want to split the bill. (it's rude if you ask for him to pay everything, so suggest that you split the bill)

    How do I act? -> Like you've always acted with him/everyone before :) Try to have a lot of fun with him, laugh at his jokes, smile a lot, maybe drop hints that you like him :) you know, just be yourself :) He wants to go out with YOU, so be YOU :)

    What do I say? -> Whatever you've said/replied/answered before to him, as how you always did :)

    I've never kissed a guy -> Not a problem at all, say to him it is your first kiss, he will feel really special and probably like you even more!

    Just be yourself, be fun to be with (laugh a lot, smile a lot, be pleasant and outgoing) :) Good luck!

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  • The guys more than likely will take the tab. Honestly get more comfortable with yourself before you go out on dates. Its normal to feel like that for the first couple times though. Just be yourself and if thst isn't good enough or you dont love or feel good about yourself turn that around and be thw person you want to be. :)

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  • Just think of it as a "job interview w/o the job part." as @ratiocinative said, you just want to know the other person.

    I don't think you can get anyone to "like" the real you. You just show them who you are (hopefully not all at once), and see if the two of you are compatable.

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  • Just relax its ok to feel like that, be yourself don't act no different, that's the reason for dates to see if you two do like each other, ask him questions carry on the conversation don't respond with one words, he should pay since he invited you but just in case take some money. He won't think that about you if he did he wouldn't invite you out , just enjoy it and if doesn't work out its ok get some experience and have fun.

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  • My advise would be just go out with as a friend. Nothing more. Become friends first and see where it goes. The worst that can happen is you make a new friend.
    As a guy who finds it difficult to talk to women, to know what to say to them. I wish I could take my own advise.

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  • You don't know how to act? Act like yourself! A relationship with the gender you're attracted to goes like this: you're friends you enjoy each other, you understand each oother, you connect, you feel things, you get close.

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  • You are female , therefore YOU have every advantage , you have NOTHING to worry about , guys are easier going & will forgive any minor faux pas , dating is much easier for you ladies , if WE make one mistake = game over !!

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  • just be yourself, ask him what he likes to do, tell him what you like to do, talk about what kind of family you come from.

    offer to split the check
    you can give him a hug when you see him

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  • Just be yourself and be comfortable that's key if you can't be yourself then it's not going work anyways. But on the date ask questions to get to know eachother, make jokes, he should make the first move for the kiss if he comes in real close go for it if it feels right

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  • Honestly? Tell him your level of experience in a casual, charming way. You don't have to go into kissing experience. He will be fine.

    Other than that, OFFER to go dutch, act like your self and just be fun. Where are you going?

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  • Let the guy know who u really are, don't act as the girl that you may think he expects. ... everything will be cool as soon as u know each other. .

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  • Look, it's not hard. Go watch The Adjustment Bureau with Matt Damon and Emily Blunt. Or Charades, with Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant. There's excellent date scenes and great interaction.

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  • Don't worry. Just go with the flow and let things happen naturally.

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  • Nobody knows"how to act". It's always a little awkward when you're first meeting. Just relax and be yourself. That's all anyone can do.

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  • Suck his dick

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  • I love getting rejected.

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  • I would just split the bill since that seems the most fair. Just try to act like yourself which is obviously not gonna be that easy.

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What Girls Said 11

  • "What if he doesn't like me?"
    Not the end of the world. He wants to go out with you so it's pretty safe to assume that he likes you. If he realizes that you're incompatible, you'll most likely feel it too and then you can shrug it off and move on. At least you'll get some experience from this if it doesn't work out.

    "Who pays?"
    You can pay if you want to. Bring your own wallet and offer to pay for your part of the date. The meal, the ticket, whatever you decide to do. I think it's important to show that you're willing to pay for your own things by bringing your wallet with you, because it puts less pressure on him. If you don't bring your wallet, he'll be kind of forced to pay, which can create and awkward situation if he assumed you'd pay for your own meal or whatever.

    "How do I act?"
    Like yourself.

    "What do I say?"
    Whatever you feel like saying. He's just a human being. You've interacted with other human beings before, right? It's not rocket science.

    "I've never kissed a guy."
    There's a first time for everything. Kissing is a lot easier than newbies seem to think. Again, not rocket science.

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    • I'd also like to add that there are VERY few things you can say or do to make him think you're an idiot.

  • Just chill!! And be yourself and be honest about your experiences, or lack of, if he asks. Don't be ashamed.

    If the dude like you, he's not gonna judge you. And you want him to like YOU so just be yourself. If he doesn't like you when you're being yourself, he's not right for you :)

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  • You will be nervous and that's totally okay. Most people are nervous when they go on a first date, even people who have been on hundreds of dates before. If you really like someone and want to leave a good impression you will be nervous.
    So don't worry, he won't think your an idiot.

    Be yourself, and talk about the same stuff you would discuss over text. If you ever feel unsure just ask a question and let him talk.
    Make sure you wear something comfortable, that represents who you are.
    In terms of the whole who pays thing, bring money with you and then see what he does.
    But above all else, have fun and get to know him a bit better. Enjoy the nerves and butterflies they are all apart of it, and remember that he already likes you if you've been texting.

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  • I know it's a generic answer, but just act like yourself. if he doesn't like it when you do, then he's not worth it. There's no point acting like someone else now, because you'll have to tell the truth eventually. If he doesn't like the real you, then you guys will never work out, even if you do lie about yourself now.

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  • Don't act just be you. If he doesn't like you for you then he is a jerk. Dates are supposed to be fun and its the time when you guys get to know each other more. Always bring money just in case. Don't worry so much and have fun. I am pretty sure he is as nervous as you. Good Luck

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  • No regrets for one. For two, be yourself, don't be fake. Don't lie. But don't be super crazy and scare him off. Don't over welm him, and have fun. Be coragous but don't do anything you don't want to do. Be strong and don't take any crap he may give.

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  • No one date is the same. They are all kinds awkward at first but just be you. Things generally start to come natural , think of it as seeing a friend you haven't seen in years and your asking them how their life has been. This how i generally view dates so I dont over think things. As for as who pays, in my opinion if he asks you out he pays, if you asked him out you pay , if you both decided to go out together than it should be a split bill unless ofcourse he says otherwise. Just be you girl, dont overthink it

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  • Ohhh girl. Im on the same boat. Id say bring money just in case and offer to pay but then let him pay if he refuses to let u pay. Go somewhere that would make u comfortable. If you're really nervous, go to the movies. It's dark so he won't see you turn red or blush. Dont eat somewhere because things could go wrong. I magically forget how to add 😂😂 just remember to just go out there and try to have fun and know a little more about him. Good luck girly:)

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  • Dont worry! You'll be fine, trust me! And since he asked to go out that means he does have at least some interest in you. Who pays? Well i believe the person who asked the other out should pay... sooo him! however my advice would be to ALWAYS take money with you just incase, you know he might turn out to be douche bag so just keep money with you so you don't look like a idiot if he doesn't. How to act? I know this is a very cliche answer, but just be yourself! The conversation will flow once you get into it. Okay now kissing. This part i don't really have much advice on, i mean if its gonna happen just let it happen and go with the flow. oh and please make sure he is aware that this is your first kiss, I'm sure he will understand and if you guys want to kiss he'll lead the way! DON'T WORRY GIRL, YOU WILL BE FINE! ALL THE BEST! XO

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  • How old are you

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  • You sound like you're a little younger, but my suggestion is to just take it easy. Don't worry if he doesn't like you, you're a total babe and it's totally obvious he does already since he's been texting you and asked you out ;) Let him pay the first time (and a few times after if you decide to keep going out with him.) Act polite, fun, and genuine -- be yourself! Ask him about himself or talk about whatever you talk about over text. Inject a little funny/mysterious story every now and then. And practice kissing! But you don't have to kiss him if you don't want to. Don't be scared. Tell yourself you're totally comfortable and you will be you little heartbreaker ;)

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