Normal to say in a loving relationship when arguing or not?

My ex said some extremely hurtful things to me in our last 2 arguments where I decided enough was enough and I left him. I was extremely concerned about "our" future as he has absolutely no goals or interests, pretty much just vegetating, he wanted to marry me, yet never made any effort to move forward. I love enjoying each day, but I'm always thinkng about what I want to do next, setting tiny goals for myself. During those arguments I was called selfish and mean even though I approached him in non judging way. Coming from a person who told me I was the only person who ever cared about him in such a loving and genuine way was painful. I also approached him about being taken for granted, I couldn't pin point why I felt that I just felt as though he started to make a lot less effort for me. When I told him that he told me that I should maybe find someone better, afterall he is just another guy. I told him I was crazy about him in the sense that I never wanted another guy and I wanted to work through our problems because I love him. He didn't like that I was crazy about him and told me that I cannot depend on the relationship to be happy. I am happy about life, but the relationship was a part of that happiness (a big part sadly). I would never tell a person I loved that I was just another girl, this is a man who I went out of my way to care for. Did he ever care about me?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • walk away.. you dont need that crap


What Girls Said 1

  • arguing in relationships is normal and acceptable and sometimes necessary. disrespect arguing or not , is not acceptable.

    so it really depends upon the content of the argument. i could potentially leave a person over that and i dont consider it to be insubstantial.

    regardless you seem to have other reasons -not irrelevant reasons imo- for not seeing a future with him.

    if you know what you want and you see it concretely and he's evasive and noncommittal than yo9 guys can be incompatible despite genuinely caring for one another.