He asked me to visit... what does that mean?

Over the past few weeks I have become totally smitten with a long distance crush. The short version - we work together (different companies), he lives on the other coast. In recent months I started to think he was flirting: touching, hugs for greetings snd goodbyes, more personal conversations.

He was recently in town and it escalated into a lunch date and a parting comment about wanting to hang out on his next visit. Combine this with comments about me visiting over the past couple months and it adds up to something. We uncovered we have a lot in common, and never seem to run out of things to talk about.

He returned home a couple weeks ago and we've been in touch via text. Now it looks like I'll be starting a new job. He suggested we celebrate by me visiting him and set a tentative date.

And now I realize I have no idea what this means about where things are headed. I know he is recently single. He knows I am as well. We haven't spent time together on a real "date." In terms of physical intimacy, it has been lots of hugs but nothing more.

My friend thinks this offer is code word for netflix and chill and I should plan accordingly. I wouldn't mind staying with him, and he has plenty of space. But really I just want to get to know him as a person at this stage. I don't like to jump into sex.

I could also make the trip about seeing other friends/family and only spend a little bit of time with him. That seems wrong too as a weekend would give us enough time to figure out if something is there. I think we'd have a great time planning multiple "dates."

What would you do?

  • Stay with other friends and hang out with him a little
    Vote A
  • Stay with him: netflix and chill
    Vote B
  • Stay elsewhere and plan lots of time with him
    Vote C
  • I have another idea in the comments
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Quick note: i don't think he just wants a hookup, he has been interested in getting to know me, what makes me tick and my well-being. Not sure if it is at friend level or more.


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What Girls Said 1

  • I'd get to know him more and solidify what the relationship is before you spend money on a ticket.

    • I'd say the cost of the ticket is in budget (i have miles to use from a rewards card I got specifically to arrange more visits to this city, long before I met this guy).

      I had already been trying to figure out a visit because a close friend moved there and has a new place she wants me to see. I have at least 6 people that I should see when there: friends and family.

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