My boyfriend says his only goal in a relationship is to be with someone that motivates him to become a better person and for me to show him the potential he can't see in himself.
Is this wrong... my goal is to make the other person happy, I don't think a relationship is about me. It's not what I get out of it, for me it's how can I make this person happy.
Are my relationship goals off or wrong?
Most Helpful Guy
Goal is to be happy yourself so you can contribute to creating a happy relationship and all times... let me repeat that... AND AT ALL TIMES HAVE SEPARATE LIVES.
That might sound counter productive because in a relationship you always wanna be together. But people often lose themselves in a relationship. They stop being a person with interest and just become the relationship. So after a while things get boring.
When you have separate lives things stay interesting because of the outside impulses.0
Most Helpful Girl
I think everybody approaches certain things in life differently, like everyone has a different mind set going in.
Like, some people go to school because they know they have to. So, their goal is to get through the day and do as little as possible. Some people actually like school, so their goal is to pay attention, take notes and study so it can help get them to where they want to be down the line.
Or, work some go because they like money and so their goal is to do make as much money as they can to get the life they want. Some actually like to work or are in field because it's something they've always wanted to do and it brings them joy, money is just apart of that but not the goal.
Relationships are the same way, everybody wants something different out of one. I think I'd fall under the category of both you and your boyfriend. I want someone who I could see in me what I can't see myself because it's hard for me see anything positive at all. So, having someone who believes in me and pushes me to do be better, is something I need and want. However, I also like making people happy and I always put other people before I put myself. So, making sure they are happy and I give to them what they give to me, is important too.
So, both your goals are good ones. There's nothing wrong with wanting someone who can help us better ourselves and be a postivie influence in our life, there's nothing wrong with that nor is it selfish. There's also nothing wrong with making someone happy but that probably as more to with who you are as a person, then it being a relationship goal (just make sure you don't over do the making the other person happy because can turn a person into a door mat, trust me. You need find balance). So, I think both completely good goals to have and nothing to fret about.0