My boyfriend of 2 years doesn't want his family and friends to know about me. Yet, everything is my fault. Am I in the wrong?

So I've been with a guy for 2 years now. He's pressured me into meeting my mum since he kept saying stuff like " what are you hiding?" "Your not serious about us" etc. So he met my mum under the agreement I'd meet his mum the same week. He met my mum, got close and even talk to each other regularly. However his family don't know I exist 1 year 9 months later (yes this started only 3 months into our relationship). Now, he stays over my place... Doesn't share rent because he feels I'm extorting him neither does he share bills. I'm not allowed to talk to men nor am I allowed to go our clubs or out much really. He's shown he's madly in love by "crying" to my friends asking for me back etc. But then why do I have to be a secret to his life? He goes out, lies where he's going (I've caught him going clubs flirting with girls) yet nobody can know about us. I told him to save this he can post the picture of us 2 on his whatsapp if he has nothing to hide and start taking me on dates to fix this. Yes, we've only been on 3 dates in the 2 years together. Why I stay? Because I love him - yet he's the one who loves me and it's me who's destroying this relationship. Now, I'm being "controlling" and always have been. Please tell me I'm not going crazy... He decided that it's over because I want it over since he refuses to expose our very "serious" relationship. Please, help me! So the situation here is I've set boundaries after 2 years. I want to dress up at least once a week for a date. I want him to take me to chill with his friends and I'll bring my friends too and I want my picture up with him on whatsapp since he has nothing to hide. I'm so confused, is this too much to ask after getting nothing at all? by the way I'm 25 and he's 27. No he doesn't have financial problems he's actually much well off than me... Oh and can I add? He brought me one bracelet that cost £90 or less (was on sale) for Christmas 2 months into our relationship... Yes that's all nothing else.

Just to let you know... I spent the whole day baking cupcakes and cakes believing he'd actually take them to his family.. Mum, grandma etc. Lol, false hopes... Whole day in the kitchen doing my very best put to waste... I love this man, but yet he hurts me so much.


Most Helpful Girl

  • personally, this doesn't seem like a good relationship to be in, I know you love him and all but you gotta do whats best for you, and your life, he seems controlling, and it is not your fault, clearly he has to figure stuff out for himself and you are going along for whatever he does, you need to live, you need to have fun, A relationship needs honesty and communication and it seems like he is not falling through with both. This doesn't seem to be the right guy for you, you need a guy that wants to show everyone the relationship and you, and be happy and proud of who he is with.


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  • Omg doesn't seem like things are working out. U guys should go ur separate ways