Am I too fat? Am I too ugly? I've been going through a divorce for a while now... And I swear not a single male pays any attention to me at all.. Why?

The only attention I get is guys asking me to give them advice how to get the girl they want. Of course I give them advice. Then I'm thanked for being such a good friend. Yeah got it. When I do get male attention its about one thing... They get it nd don't hear from them again. I used to be very skinny nd fit, even after having kids. I had guys wanting to be with me even though I had kids. Then I got sick and gained weight... Since then nothing. Now with getting divorced I feel like I will be alone the rest of my life. I'm just the friend always now. Even my soon to be ex never really took me on a date. I've never been on. True date. I'm in my mid 20s. I feel frumpy and gross with having all my Male friends coming go me for advice to get another girl... I'm always just the friend. Is this how my life will be?

By female friends and some of my best male friends who we've always just been friends I am told I am beautiful... but that's it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • We have no idea what you look like, so we could not answer if you are too fat or ugly. But I suspect the answer to both is no. The way you look at yourself makes a big impression on guys. If you are confidant and happy you will attract men.

    Right now people know you are going through a divorce, so for right now you are married. And it is expected that you will not run right out and date as soon as the divorce is final. But let it be known that you are ready to move on. Look at the positive sides of yourself and make sure others see them, too.

    Once you improve your feelings about yourself and get on with your life, you should see improvements. But remember that as you are now older than when you married and romance is a little harder and slower. But that is not because of you.

    Believe your friends. I have not seen you but I believe them. You are beautiful.

    • Its not even that I want a relationship right now. Although I have moved on past my marriage... I do not want to rush out to date. However, the fact that no one seems to notice me is starting to make me wonder if there is something wrong with me... The fact that male friends are coming to me for advice on girls... That's usually what happens when you do not view a girl datable... You go to them for advice for other girls. Although I don't mind giving them good advice because I of course want them to be happy... Just wonder why I'm viewed as undatable.

      I don't know how to put a picture up to show what I look like.

    • Not knowing you, I can only put forth educated guesses. I think that the men around you have known you as a married woman. Then as a woman going through a tough divorce. They have not known you as a woman who is available as a female companion in any form. But also remember that most male/female relationships are of a relationship basis (of some sort). If you are sending out the message that you do not want to rush out and date, that could put men off. Not saying you need to date, just be sure that you don't give the impression that you have barriers up around you.

      You don't need to put a picture up for this question, but if you ever do, you need to load it to one of the picture sites like imgur. com. And there are many others. Once it is there, you copy the link to that picture and paste it into your question to have it show up, or into a comment to be a link that others can click on and see it.

      You actually sound like an interesting woman that guys would like to get to know that.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Probably because you look unhappy and you're not in the best mood right now. Typically speaking, people are attracted by happy, joyful people.

    • Even with all going on? I always keep my upbeat personality when talking with my friends and our in public... Unless it's been an awful day

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What Guys Said 3

  • If you feel like something about you is holding you back, then you should do your best to improve it. Not to please others mind you, but to please yourself and help you feel better. If you're feeling frumpy and gross (whether you actually are or not), do what you can to make yourself feel hot again. The better you feel about yourself, the better others will feel about you. Trust me, it works.

    • Even the days when I personally am okay with how I look I feel like others view me as ugly. I feel like because I'm not "hot or sexy" just maybe cute or pretty... no guys care to give me any attention.

    • I can definitely relate. I used to spend a lot of time feeling bad, feeling like my looks would always sabotage my chances at being happy, and it had me really depressed. I had just got out of a really really bad relationship and I was at rock bottom. It hit me one day that I was either going to have to accept things as they were (hell no) or do whatever I could to change them. So I got to work. I've made a great many self-improvements in the last few years, and although I'm not satisfied yet, things are way way better now. I will never be a great looking person, but I found that when I quit letting that get me down, and just started trying to enjoy life, people began to respond to me, and my looks were no longer the albatross I imagined them to be. I'm telling you, it works.

  • You should focus on losing the fat that you gained.

  • Well you had a husband, didn't you? You could meet someone else but maybe it will take some time.

    • Yes I did have a husband. Who always put me down, cheated, and abused me. So my self esteem is shot. He's having no problems finding. Plenty of girls to get in their pants. (Thought it won't last long because he's being fake) I feel people view me as damages goods since I am divorced

What Girls Said 0

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