Advice for when you really like two people at the same time?

I started talking to Guy 1 about a week ago on a dating site. He was in my recent visitors, and I noticed something in a photo of his that made it appear that we had a common interest (that not too many others share), so I messaged him to say that I was a fan as well and chat about it. I had no expectations other than having a friendly conversation, because to me becoming friends comes first... And really have no faith in meeting people on those sites anyway. At first I didn't feel a romantic interest but after chatting for a while I am crushing on him pretty hard, and he really wants to meet. I don't want to frustrate him by drawing out the time before we meet, because I think he might be a great guy for me and it could push him away. However, there is Guy 2 (an acquaintance from real life) that I have been talking to/flirting with for the past year online. He is part of the reason I was never really active or chatting with anyone on the dating site until recently. I was interested in him and satisfied with being single until he became interested in dating. He knows I'm interested, and has had a years time as of now to make something happen between us, yet he hasn't. He says he's interested, but I became sick of dropping hints and waiting, so I decided to try to meet new people... and now I did sooner than expected. Guy 2 said he hasn't taken the next step because of his anxiety, depression, and baggage from past relationships making him really scared. I understand how those things could make you hesitant to move forward but it's been a long time and it's not smart of me to keep waiting for someone who may never feel ready/safe to take the next step. Out of nowhere last nite he opened up to me about his fears about it and told me how he feels about me though. If he can get the courage to move things on, I really would like to see if we could work out. I've had feelings towards him for a long time. He doesn't usually open up so I'm thinking he might be getting up the guts to make the move. If I go out soon with Guy 1, I may not have the shot with Guy 2 that I have been hoping for, if I happen to hit it off with Guy 1. What should I do? How can I handle this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You have many Avenues on this 'Dating site' so Continue your Search, don't wear your heart too Quick with Any One guy with your try, it doesn't always work out... Guy1 is a perfect example with his anxiety, depression, and baggage from past relationships making him really scared.
    Take it slow with Joe, Guy2 here, dear. Nurse and nurture a nice friendship First with the many chats you need to find out More in store, and hopefully get to meet up, hoping it will be a Match Made in Heaven.
    For now, keep Guy 2 just as a friend. I don't really see anything Ever becoming Anything with him. He has too many issues that you do not need to be part of, and by you exploring what else is out there, your Options as a Single girl are wide open.
    Good luck. xx


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  • I would go with guy 1. If it takes a year for a guy to open up then that is something I could not wait around for. But I would tell guy 1 you are happy to meet for a coffee and see how it goes. Not necessarily a date but a chance to see if you feel anything when you meet. You don't know how you will feel about either of them unless you meet so I would go for coffee and it may only be friendship but it will make things clearer