I think you're great and like you a lot but?

Alright, I have to get some input on this. Why is it that I meet a guy, we hang out, keep it very nonchalant and simple. We enjoy spending time together, he would contact me daily via text or phone calls. Calls me baby and all other terms of endearment. Says he WANTS to spend time with me, etc and yes we have sex occasionally. He tells me I'm awesome, have a kind and loving heart, and he cares very much for me... BUT... he says he just wants to be really good friends and doesn't want to hurt me. He's not the right guy for me, I deserve better, blah blah blah. And then when I tone down the affection so not to fall for him deeper than I have, I get asked "Why are you acting different?" Dude WTH? I mean, I get it. You don't want a relationship with me, fine. But you can't expect me to "keep the status quo" going if I know there is no future for us. And another thing, why should I be ok with him sleeping with other women but if I sleep with another guy, he gets all bent out of shape?


Most Helpful Guy

  • So what exactly is the question? If you are trying to understand male behavior, I'll let George Carlin explain it:

    • I know women are crazy and men are stupid. And I have told him... Ok.. I get it, you don't want a relationship.. So why then would he suddenly wonder why I'm acting different? He in essence told me, we are not going to have a future other than friendship. Ok, well this is what you asked for. So what gives? And since he wants me to be in the friend zone, why should it bother him if I seek affection from another man but it's ok for him to seek affection from another woman? What's up with the double standard?

    • Show All
    • I understand the science behind the evolution Opinion, And that's fine.. My only argument point on this now is, if he is going to go and "copulate" with several... I'm not stopping him... but don't throw this double standard in my face. He doesn't have to like it, he doesn't have to agree with it... but if I've got to accept it, then shut up, deal with it or move on. And on the comment of "Men can't sever relationships like women can".. this is true. However, men need to grasp the concept that women are not their beckon call girls. It doesn't matter at this point... I severed contact with said man earlier this week. But I value your feedback. Thank you.

    • Good. I think that was the right thing to do.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Double standards. He wants you to sleep with him exclusively, but he is free to sleep with every chick encounters his path. Also, he doesn't have feelings for you, he is only using you for sex. That's why he doesn't want you to get attached to him.


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What Guys Said 2

  • If you are getting hurt by the behavior of the guys you are meeting and having sex with, maybe you should wait until you know them a bit better. Or maybe you should try dating a different type, because the type you are dating now doesn't seem to be what you really want.

    • Ok let me clarify something to you. 1. I've known him for about 8 months... and we didn't start having sex until quite recently. 2. It seems to be the standard answer from "different types" as he's not the first man to tell me this. I merely question why. And yes I have to agree with you on he clearly doesn't know what he wants. And I'm not hurt. I know the deal.. I get it. I hate complication myself. So why did he just drop a ton of it on me? It's not hurt, it's aggravation.

  • He is just asking... Tell him, I am sure he'll understand. Why do you say that to us but not to him? It you makes perfect sense.

    • I have told him.. I get "I'm just not good for you. I've got a lot going on in my life."

    • So now he knows... Problem fixed?
      Maybe he just wanted to know if something else he should know was going on?

What Girls Said 0

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