What does my boyfriend want?

My boyfriend of 6 months has recently been going hot and cold on me. Some days he's very affectionate and everything is perfect, but other days he seems very distant. He puts less effort to spend time with me lately. I asked him if something was wrong last night and he said "I don't know what it is. I feel like i'm not putting 100% into the relationship like it was in the beginning. You haven't done anything wrong and i still care about you. It's my own issue and I feel like i'm letting you down." So i asked him up front "Do you want to break up?" and he said "No. I want to try and work through it." Can anyone give me their opinion as to why he's acting this way? Is it a good sign that he wants to work out these issues and stay together?


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What Guys Said 1

  • DO YOU RECIPROCATE? Do you take him on dates? Do you initiate sex? Do you initiate contact? Or is he doing all of the courting and romancing?

    • No i am doing my part. He has already told me i'm doing absolutely nothing wrong and that this is something that he needs to work out on his end. He's said that he feels that i'm putting more into the relationship than he is at this point and that he knows it's not fair. My question is, do you think he's looking for an out? Or should i find some hope in the fact that he said he wants to stay together and work through it?

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    • Absolutely. We both have full time jobs, and though he does often pay for me, i also reciprocate from time to time. If we go to the movies he buys the tickets and i buy the food. I don't think this is a "he doesn't take me out enough" issue but more of the fact that he doesn't ask me to hang out as much anymore. He says he doesn't really know why he's being this way lately, but that he doesn't want to throw away what we have. I'm wondering if it's a fear of commitment issue considering we're getting more and more serious. Either way i'm at a loss as to what to do.

    • I am not sure. I don't have all of the information then because there may have been something you did along the lines to make him distrust you. @asker

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