Are girls turned off by very physical guys?

I'm a physical person by nature. I'm a former classical dancer, and physical fitness is both my career and passion (I work as a weight-loss and athletic-performance coach). After leaving dance, I really got into weightlifting and gaining muscle because I was so tired of deprivation after the years of having to stay so small for dance. I work hard to have a nice body and consider it my form of artistic expression. I won't tolerate having fat on my body and I do like to show it off.

I know that a lot of girls consider guys who show off their bodies with tight clothing to be effeminate. I've had more than one person assume that I was gay because I was a dancer and because I maintained my body and dressed nicely. I don't like to think of myself as metrosexual because that just entails a sense of I don't know... prissiness? I'm not prissy, I just know how I want to look and work hard to achieve it. Are girls put off by guys like me who are very into our physical fitness and aesthetics?



Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not at all put off by anything you mentioned... I actually really love dancers, so the fact that you used to would be awesome for me. Grace and balance are attractive.

    As long as you aren't obsessed with fitness to the point of it being unhealthy, I don't think you'll have a problem. You said it's like an art form to you, and I think that's beautiful! Anything you can put passion and express emotion with is art in my book. Anyway, I'm off topic [:

    You shouldn't have a problem with women. You sound like a healthy man with emotional depth, and that will appeal to people.

    • Thanks, that's very encouraging. My real problem with women is that I'm not very expressive with words. Guys who do really well are great at connecting with words, but I've always been less into words than into physical action.

      TBH, I did get unhealthy about things in dance, which is part of why I left it. It favors teen guys anyhow, because you have to be so small and lithe. I weighed 170ish when I danced and I'm 218lbs now, so I'm almost 50 pounds heavier and nearly as lean. It's a much healthier lifestyle.

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    • I don't know much about flirting honestly... all of my relationships came from friendships that grew into something more, or we just met by chance and there was instant and intense chemistry. I've never been chased or wanted to case someone else.

      Smiling goes a long way though, i think. If a girl is looking at you, smile. If she's around a lot, and you're giving off positive vibes to each other, it will make conversation a lot easier later on, even if you don't talk at all at first. I am sorry but I don't think I can be much help with flirting and talking to people lol

    • LOL me either. My only relationships have been with people I've worked closely with. My last girlfriend was someone I trained for over 6 months, and she actually asked me out. She came in on day and told me I was fired as her trainer and did I want to have dinner at her apt on Saturday?

      My issue is that I just never know what to say. TBH, it's one reason why I try to have a striking appearance, because I want to get noticed but I don't like to be 'on the spot' to talk. It does work, but I'm just really bad at making things happen with girls. But anyone who says that girls don't pay tons of attention to guys' physical presence is not telling the truth.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well honestly if you shave your legs and chest you probably are kind of metrosexual but if you don't like to refer to yourself using that term then that's your choice, not all girls like muscles, that's a fact, and some girls have trouble approaching guys like you if they're not extremely confident... but it's not something that puts off girls... however cockiness is so make sure you come across as confident and not cocky

    • I do shave, though I see it as a matter of aesthetics rather than of prissiness. It's kind of pointless to work hard at being lean only to have body hair obscure your lines of definition. To me metro is more about the clothes and the gear, whereas I'm all about the body and what it can do. Clothes and everything else are secondary to being fit, agile, and having an aesthetic body.

    • Fair enough... I understand the whole shaving thing, guys look way better that way

  • Umm, would she be put off that you like to take care of your body? No. Would she think you are feminine because of the fact you dance? Maybe. But I knew professional ballerinos and gymnasts and I used to think they where all gay until I got to know them and they weren't feminine at all. Some girl a like hair some don't. But it really depends on how you carry yourself.

    • No, ballerinos aren't all gay, not by any stretch. Dance is very demanding and physical. It's a performance, just like any other athletic event. I just don't like the idea that being involved in dance and being physical might be seen as detracting from my masculinity. American culture kind of sucks, because in Europe, dancers are seen by women as being almost hypermasculine.

    • Yea, but that's because men who we see who dance tend to be gay. But no I know now they aren't all gay, but like I said if you act masculine it's ok but if your walking with a switch that's a different story.

    • I promise you that not even a majority of the male dancers are gay. There are a lot, no question, but there are so many of us who aren't. Most guys I knew in dance had at least one story in which some girl was crushing on them, assumed he was gay, and then was shocked when he made a move while they were "hanging out" at his apt. I wonder how many girls have thought that about me, and how many chances I've missed out on because of it #noswishhere