Older stepbrother keeps me to himself?

My father recently got remarried to a really nice lady. She has a son who is 2 years older than me who happens to go to the same university that I go to. He is really nice to me and constantly compliments me. He makes me feel very loved and protected.

I've always tried to stay away from bad things and be sweet to everyone, and my friends say that I'm so innocent that they are sometimes a little scared for me.

I think my stepbrother really takes that to heart, as he is almost always by my side. Whenever guys approach me he always scares them off and hugs me to him, even though the other guys seemed friendly. Even when he hangs out with his friends or when he goes to clubs, he constantly checks up on me, and can get angry if I don't reply soon after.

I have seen a lot of girls asking him out (often very obviously) and he never says yes, often opting to take me out to ice cream or to parks. Because he's so kind I told a lot about myself to him.

Because he is so protective, if I wear a piece of clothing that he thinks reveals too much (my stepmother buys me them), he tells me to go change, and that guys would take advantage of me if I wear tight or short clothing).

However, recently I've been interested in having a boyfriend, but with my stepbrother, it's almost impossible. I am an adult (legally), but when I told him this, he got angry and said that he won't allow it.

I really like being taken care of by him, but is it a good time to try to be out by myself a bit more?

Please respond! I would like your opinions. Thank you!

He says that I am one of the most precious people in his life (even though I haven't known him that long), and that he always be by my side whenever I need him. Sometimes when guys look my way a lot he says to me that he doesn't like it and he wishes he could keep me to himself so other guys won't take advantage of me. My stepbrother also says that he will protect me from anything, and I really do love him for doing all that for me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like he's in love with you and feeling like if he can't have you as his girlfriend and wife no one else can.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds to me like he likes you maybe a bit too much... you need to tell him to back off and that you're his stepsister, not girlfriend.

    • Yeah you definitely need to talk to him. He's not your guardian

    • Show All
    • He's not really dictating what I wear, he just doesn't want me to show too much skin... Is that still controlling?

    • I think I will talk to him and see if I can figure things out, but I'll be very gentle because I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I think you are completely right. U need to get out be on your own cauze sooner or later he will find his own girl and will go live his life. So you need to gain experince of life so no one could take advantage of you later. it's very good to have a safe place you can go to if it's hard outside. but we are social creatures we need to get involved with others.


What Girls Said 4

  • This is not normal behavior it sounds like he may have a crush on you but it isn't okay for him to be overbearing like that.

    • He says that I'll always be one of his top priorities and that he will always be by my side, and I am really grateful. I can still hang out with friends, but I'll have to text him where I'm going, who I'm going with, and when I will come back (no later than 9pm). I feel like he's being responsible...

    • As someone that grew up with two older brothers and a step brother I think this is a topic I can speak to. My older brother was very overprotective almost to the point of being overbearing but not like this. These are people I grew up with, your step bro is someone who just came into your life as adults. It is SO not normal for him to take such an interest in you. You have to tell him where you are going and with who?

      I don't care if he is your brother by blood or not it is unacceptable controlling behavior that usually leads to abuse.

    • Oh... I don't think that he will ever hurt me though. He treats me like I'm fragile, and always hugs and kisses my head. He never blows up at me even when he's angry, and he's a fun companion. I don't really know the difference between being controlling and being protective/caring.

  • It sounds a bit like your step brother might be interested in you but doesn't want to pursue it because you guys are sort of related now (not by blood though). However, it seems that if he can't have you he doesn't want other guys to have you either.
    Have you noticed anything strange about his behavior, is it possible that he likes you more than a step brother should like his step sister?

    • I don't know much about how a relationship works, but he always has his hand around my shoulders or on my waist, and pulls me away from the sidewalk, cars, other guys, etc. I think he's being a gentleman, and he's always nice to me, and he doesn't want me to get hurt. I don't know a normal stepbrother-stepsister relationship though...

  • stop being his slave
    he is not even ur brother

    • I am not his slave. He treats me really well, and I am appreciative.

    • Show All
    • Maybe I will ask him, but I will be very gentle, because I don't want to push him away because he really cares for me.

    • yeah, you are lucky to have a guy like him, being a boyfriend or a friend

  • He has a thing for you. Are you attracted to him? Do you think about him at night?

    • I don't know. I've never really thought about guys much, since I did grow up in a very small town and there were barely any people. My father made sure I was always safe, so I had a very peaceful upbringing. All of a sudden guys are looking at me or approaching me, and now I have new people in my life, so I am very confused about it all.

    • Write to be privately maybe I can help

    • I am sorry the website will not allow me to do that.

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