Hypothetical situation #1: If someone is depressed and seems withdrawn should you try to talk to them or wait for them to talk to you first?

Say you're dating or in a relationship with a woman and she seems to change over time.. Like she's super happy with you at first but then becomes more and more withdrawn and distant both physically and emotionally. Should you bring it up with her and try to get to the bottom of what's wrong or should you wait for her to trust you enough to talk it out? Basically whose responsibility is it in a relationship setting? When you feel that emotional connection decreasing over time is it a sign that you aren't right for each other or just have communication issues that can be worked out?

Please discuss. It would help me be a better guy in the future. I'm not always the best at picking up on these signals and would like to become better at it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should ask her about it: say you are feeling some distance starting to grow between the both of you. If she feels it too, and if she knows a reason for it. If everything is ok with her. u would like to help.

    You should try to fix these things as soon as u can. A small problem can easily become a big one if enough time passes.

    If she isn't ready to tell u yet. then u need to be patient. But her knowing u are there for her, no matter what it is, counts for a lot in a woman's mind.

    • Damn I wish I had known this stuff a year ago. Well everything in life is a learning experience right?
      It is crazy how much I just don't know about being nurturing and stuff. I always felt that if there was a problem then you should tell the person what the problem is not the other way around. Like I would feel rude or like I'm intruding.

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    • Thanks Swan. Seriously, you've helped me a lot and I appreciate it.

    • oh no problem :) Happy to do so

Most Helpful Guy

  • I would talk to her and try to find out what's going on. I just wouldn't want to wait, I need to be sure of how things are going so that I can take actions... or not.

    • Damn all this stuff makes so much sense in hindsight lol
      It's almost common sense.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Get to the bottom of it, and if she resists just continue to let her know you're there for her. However, if it gets to the point where she isn't making ANY changes and REFUSES to open up and it affects your relationship, she's going to have to either get professional help or talk it out with you and work on it, because you cannot allow it to affect the relationship.

    • Thanks for the advice, Gravey.
      You're always a pal.

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    • I appreciate the effort. It pays off.

    • Well I'm glad you find it helpful, I make an effort to help others whatever way I can.

  • I personally would be the one to say something. I don't like feeling like something is wrong. I don't like when people are sad and upset around me, so I couldn't was for them to just tell me. I'd go to them. I'd respect if they didn't wanna talk about it at that moment, but if we're in relationship it would need to be talked about at some point. Sweeping it under the rug or constantly putting it off would help nothing.

    • This makes perfect sense. Geez I think I've made a few mistakes in the past now lol

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    • Someone inspired it in me so I can't claim all the credit ;)

    • Lol fair enough

  • Usually when there are communication issues that don't get worked out, emotional connections decrease over time. It's probably both. Instead of constantly trying to change yourself, why don't you just roll with someone who is cool with you how you are? You talk a lot about "improving" and reaching certain "potentials" but that shit is pretty fucking relative. I think what would really suit you better in the future is to stop obsessing over who you COULD be and just be who the fuck you are. That's probably who this hypothetical chick would be into and MAYBE that's why there was a problem. It hypothetically MIGHT get really exhausting for someone who is with you to constantly have to assure you that you don't have to be perfect in every way.

    Ps. Don't bullshit a bullshitter this isn't a hypothetical.

    • Thank you very much for answering. It's greatly appreciated.

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    • Whether or not other people have had similar experiences wasn't really the point of the question.

    • That's true but they could've given me some insight to rectify any future situations I got into. Honestly I'm sorry if you felt singled out. I was really just wondering about how to not make any repeat mistakes in the future with someone.

What Guys Said 1

  • Talk to them

    • It seems obvious to everyone except me apparently lol

    • Trust me, I have had depression since I was a little kid and its what I'd want

    • Thanks for the advice bro.