Why do his words contradict his actions?

So, this guy I've obviously been more than friends with benefits, told me recently he could never be with me, as he said "I can't be with someone I'm always butting heads with, and after all the shit we've been through, no thank you." Yet, despite him saying that, he always texts me, always wants to hangout with me (even doing no sexual things), he wants me to go out with him and his friends, he calls me almost every night and falls asleep on the phone with me, he hugs me really tightly when we fall asleep together, gets jealous of other guys, and constantly fights for me to remain in his life and work out issues between us, and puts me above everyone else in his life. Yet, if he says he could never be with me, why does he do everything that shows someone you do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Because his mouth is lying. Actions always speak the truth

    • So, what do you mean by this? He does want me?

    • Show All
    • So, do you believe he is at a war between his mind and his heart? We had a lot of pain and problems in the beginning of our relationship, and I can feel he does care about me deeply. But, I don't know if maybe it's just best to let him go? Especially if he says he can't ever be with me, or doesn't want to be with me.

    • If he's saying one thing but doing the other it means he is confused. How you handle it is up to you

What Girls Said 1

  • That's why friends with benefits gets so ugly - feelings don't equal a plan for commitment and shared life.

    From experience and what I've seen, most people (male and female) develop some affectionate and possessive feelings for their friends with benefits. However, these can exist even if they never plan to date their partner and even are actively open to dating someone else if they meet him or her.

    friends with benefits is often used by at least one partner to have their cake and eat it too. Enjoy all of the best parts of a relationship (not just sex) but not the hard parts, like sticking by someone through thick and thin, giving up other options, etc.