When to talk to much older boyfriend about children?

So I am 27 years old and my boyfriend is 45. We have been together for 3 months. He already has 3 kids (25, 21, and 13), and I've met them and they are absolutely great. Anyways, I care about him a lot, and I couldn't even begin to describe the chemistry between us... but my concern is that I know I am going to want kids of my own, but I have no idea how he feels about it and if he is even going to want more kids at this point in his life. I know it's early to even really talk about it, but considering the age gap, I think it's important to find out if we are even on the same page as to not waste either of our time. My question though is how I even bring it up, and when should I bring it up? Any advice would be great. Thanks in advance :)


Most Helpful Guy

  • If a gal asked me 3 months into a relationship about having kids, regardless of whether I wanted them or not, I'd be GONE!
    Maybe he's different. Maybe at his age, he'd appreciate a straightforward question about where he sees your relationship headed. Maybe you accidentally switch your birth control with baby aspirin on "accident" in a year and surprise him (pretty low class and manipulative). How much do you want to be sure he's got the same view and risk the chance of imploding what you have going?
    But meh, I guess you've only invested 3 months. Not much of a loss if he says no more kids and you split up.

    • I'm not saying I want kids now. But I don't see how it would be fair to either of us if we stayed in a relationship and then ultimately find out we want different things after we have invested a lot more into the relationship. And if he does run if I bring it up, than good riddance I suppose.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Come on! You've only been together for 3 months. I think it's sort of early to discuss such things. I think it would be wise to wait for another 3 months or so before mentioning it to him.

    • In other situations I would agree with you because these kinds of topics usually aren't applicable. But with the age gap, I think knowing these kinds of things early on can save a lot of heartbreak for both parties involved.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I think that type of thing needs to be discussed on the very first date. I use a first date like an interview and express what I want and don't want and what she wants and doesn't want and that decides if a second date is possible

    • I get what you're saying, and honestly I know better and should have figured this out awhile ago... but now I just feel stuck and don't know how to go about it.

    • It isn't too late and its partially his fault for not asking or bring that subject up. Bring it up soon

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