Guy I've been seeing doesn't seem to want me around for the most important weekend of his year. His excuse: sore throat?

So basically the guy I've been seeing for a long time has a big race Sun so I offered to support him and threw some ideas. What gets me is that he's using a sore throat as an excuse not to see me even though I only suggested relaxing together. You know, literally doing nothing. Except movies maybe. He said he still has a sore throat (from a week ago?) and wants to get rest and that he even cancelled teaching and volunteering today. Oh and he didn't mention all that till AFTER I suggested getting together the day before the race. He was chatty with me all morning and said nothing about being sick still or calling out. All I heard about the past 3 days was how hectic work has been. Suddenly that same sore throat from a week ago is causing him to call out? And the last time I saw him was a week ago. He has been "too busy" to see me weekdays so basically he's willing to wait an entire extra week to see me. Over a sore throat. He also sent a loooong text thanking me for my sweet, supportive words and telling me all the things he loves about me. So he's very confusing. So what can I do when I'm in the position where I can't call him out on it because I look like a jerk if he really is sick and is just being overly careful about it. But there's also a good chance he's avoiding me? Do I break things off over a suspicion? Make it known in some way that I find it odd that he thinks relaxing together would keep him from getting over a sore throat? Pull way back and make myself too busy on the days he normally makes himself available?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like he just wants to be alone and get prepared. He might have thought you wouldn't take it very well so he said he has a sore throat. Or it could be he has a sore throat.

    • I think you're right based on his history of playing up work or illnesses to avoid looking bad for saying no to things. It's a big problem, especially if he went as far as lying about canceling on things. It's just a sore throat. Not strep. Not the flu. He's just going to lie down and watch Netflix. So it's bull crap that he doesn't want my company doing just that. If he wants to be alone and get prepared he should just say so. It's making me so mad that he can't be honest. I'm going to have a talk with him when he finally gets around to seeing me.

  • If he wants to be alone at least he could just say so. I don't believe this sore throat bs. He's being secretive

    • Yep that's what I think. I also think Bkueeyes81 below me is right in that he just wants to be alone and didn't think I'd take it well.

      He has a history of pretending to be sick when he doesn't want to look bad saying no. It hasn't happened in a long time so I thought he finally stopped this annoying behavior. Oh wait.. Just a few weeks ago, I invited him to a thing with mutual friends which I already knew he might not feel like going to. He played up how busy he was with work. Then days later said, "I was going to go but I felt lazy." I just let it go because I didn't feel like arguing. But I think I'm going to start an honest discussion with him with that incident a few weeks back as am example. But ultimately I think it's a deal breaker. It's just annoying dishonest behavior and it's not going to change he just denies denies. Or worse makes it out like I'm insensitive and not caring if he's sick. "I'm just looking for sympathy."

    • It is very dishonesty and would be a deal breaker for me too

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