How much touching should happen on the first three dates?

When you've just met the girl that is.

Any other views on this?
More opinions would be great.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Depends on the guy/girl and the chemistry they share.

    A few examples of some of my first 3 dates with different guys:

    Guy 1: hug but no kiss on the first date. Kiss on the 3rd date - turned out to be a player.
    Guy 2: Holding hands, kiss on the first date - good chemistry, but turned out to not want a relationship.
    Guy 3: Hugs but no kiss until about the 10th date. Turns out he was very inexperienced. Nice guy but it didn't last.
    Guy 4: Really nice guy. Kiss on the 2nd date - didn't work out.
    Guy 5: Hand-holding, kiss on the second date - progressed to a relationship.

    • Should guy 3 have done that sooner?

    • Show All
    • We were having dates weekly, but after about 4 weeks, he went on an overseas trip for 5 weeks (which he'd planned way before we met).

      In your case, I'd say a little bit of touching will only improve things! If it got to date 3 and there wasn't much happening, I'd question whether or not he really liked me. For you, I'd suggest a good place to start is by holding her hand. I'd say most girls like that (I do! lol). You could then progress to putting your arm around her. If you're too shy for that, try even just touching her on her arm, shoulder, back, hand or knee during conversation - perhaps to emphasise a point, or if you're joking around or something like that. Most of my first kisses with guys have happened at the end of dates, as a "goodbye" (aside from Guy 2, who I mentioned).

      Even though I'm a girl and I like the guy to initiate things, when I plan dates, I try to think of locations or activities that might be more conducive to physical intimacy (ice-skating, movies, etc.)

    • Okay thanks. Should I look for some sign though before initiating physical contact, or just touch her hand or something during conversation?

Most Helpful Guy

  • How much touching feels right, and what is the girl comfortable with?

    Call me old fashioned, but first date probably a hug and maybe a kiss
    Second date probably a kiss and/or a little kissing, maybe hold hands if it feels right and we're walking somewhere
    Third date a little kissing, a little more arm around the waist if we're walking somewhere...

    Maybe I'm a slow poke when it comes to getting physically close to girls, part of it is not wanting to risk rushing it or go to fast for the girl, part of it is to leave a little excitement and anticipation for the next time we see each other. Of course it depends a lot on the vibe and signals that I'm getting from the girl, too, it's not anything set in stone.

    I would find it a little difficult to jump head first into being physically intimate with a girl whom I've just recently met, but I have a feeling I'm in the minority here...


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 3

  • Very little to no touching at all. No touching is recommended.

    • Why no touching?

    • That's because, one should take a decent time to get to know each other and also to understand the physical barriers and boundaries that both people may have, I mean some people are touchy and they themselves like to be touched, so in that touching is fine even if it is the first three dates, but then not all people like to be touched, and some people may not prefer to use the touch language in the initial period, at the not a few dates, once they are comfortable with the other person then they don't mind, but some people take time to get comfortable, that's my point.

      Another important point is if touching is involved in the first 3 dates, doesn't matter whether it's man or woman it gives an impression to the other that the person is interested in them sexual or have sex related thoughts in mind, and forming such an impression is not advisable right? do you see any reasoning in my points? Hence once should not touch the other in the initial phase or first 3 dates.

    • To continue from above if both don't touch each other in the initial phase it gives an impression that they don't just want to have a physical relationship only, they are actually interested in that person and that's always a good impression to form, right. However not touching for a long period say 2 months, 3 months then that might indicate they don't find the other person physically attractive. Hope you understood?

  • Hugs, maybe holding hands, a kiss if things went really well. It all depends on how the two of you feel and how comfortable you make each other, if talked to girls who I never kissed or held hands with till a week or two into a relationship and also had sex with girls before the relationship started. Its all based on your connection.

  • Don't touch her. Let her touch you when she's ready. Always give her a kiss (not on the cheek) at the end of each date. If she pushes away or turns her head, it's time to delete her phone number and move on.

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