Why am I single?

I recently turned 21 and I've never had a boyfriend nor my first kiss but I did have one, great first date when I was 17. Things after that, I had a hard time meeting guys so I decided to take initiative and approach them. I've done things that anyone would recommend for me to do to "get out more" and just meet new people but the results have been anything but. I don't approach to these guys in desperation nor weirdness, I'm just outgoing me. I was friend-zoned by best guy friend a few months back who admitted to me that the reason why he didn't was because I wasn't pretty to him. It hurt but I'm not surprised since he's into "loose girls", for lack of better words. I know I'm doing things correctly but to be honest, I have given up. I approach all kinds of men, not just specifically "jerks". It's disheartening since I know I'm attractive and I have a great personality and heart. I actually have the wish and desire to finally meet that great man that I deserve to be with and vice versa and share my love with... but in the midst of all that's happened from trying (but not too hard), it doesn't work out, I'm rejected. I feel hopeless and I'll admit that this is a constant depressor of my daily life. I feel invisible. It doesn't make sense. I think anyone with a great heart and spirit deserves to be loved and find happiness.

So, what's going on?

I've lost hope.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey, while I understand your frustration, I would encourage you to maintain perspective. You're still young, you're still becoming the person you're going to be and so are the guys around you (generally at a slower rate!). Many will be in some sort of relationship but very few people your age are currently with a person who will turn out to be their perfect whole life partner - it happens, but it's not the majority. You're choosing to wait for "the one" and that's a fine decision, but it's a longer game you're playing. You are doing the right things, though be subtle, full on approaches do sometimes force the issue when just being yourself, having fun and letting things take a natural course of progression can sometimes work better. Don't be tempted to force the pace or become obsessed with time, you may meet the right person today or in a year, it will happen but don't let the hunt become your focus. Just enjoying life is the focus, the rest will happen when it's time. You're a perfectly attractive girl and seem a lovely person - work to your strengths, take pride in your appearance, get the basics right (general good personal grooming, always!) and be patient - it may take a short while but it's worth the wait, and you'll have a whole lifetime to enjoy together when you find the right chap. Good luck! :)

    • Thanks for the MHO, happy I could help - keep smiling! :)

    • No! Thank YOU so much, this helped me more than you could possibly imagine. Thank you so, so much. You deserve it. Have a great week. :) <3

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What Guys Said 3

  • "Why am I single?" Because you haven';t found the guy who sees you as a 10 in his eyes yet I'm guessing.


    • Thank you very much for that... :)

      I pray that I will just like I always do.

  • This is something I will never understand in my life. Never! How the hell can a girl say that ''she can't get a partner'' ? Yes, women can be friend zoned too. Yes women can be rejected as well. But it's still way easier for females to find someone. Only thing you have to do is show up, have a dozen guys drooling over you and pick the one you like. Everyone else will be either friend zoned or simply rejected.

  • You might be coming off as more desperate then you think, and just because you think you are approaching different kinds of men doesn't mean the right kind of men.


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