My boyfriend says I broke his heart because of the different views we have? Should we break up?

I went to a Halloween party yesterday and I was having a conversation with a few friends. My boyfriend came over as I said I wasn't planning on dating in college because the extensive level of stress relationships bring (particullarly Long distance ones) and how important college is. When I told him this he began to get upset and emotional. At this point if our point of views are so different I feel like I should break up with him.
This makes me sound terrible but hear me out. He has mentioned to me several times that he would abandon his dream school to go to school with me. This freaked me out and I instantly shot the idea down because he is smart and will go very far at the school he got into with lots of aid.
Is it wrong of me for wanting to break up? This seems like a huge problem if it is left untouched.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow, do you really have no sympathy? Sounds to me like he was wishing to be together with you for a long time, maybe even get more serious in the future, then he hears you say that you are gonna basically dump him when you go to college, of course thats gonna fucking devastate him. Im not sure how long you have been dating but stuff like that should usually be discussed pretty early in the relationship so that stuff like this doesn't happen.

    Anyway I think you need to talk to him about it if he wants to keep dating you until you part ways when you go to college, or would he rather not "waste" his time on a relationship thats not going anywhere.

    • We have been dating for 1 month. And I wasn't planning on dumping him and never talking to him. I warned him before I accepted that with college it made me nervous. I said that we would break up before we went and if the 'spark' was still there when we returned and college was done then we could continue where we left off...
      He was my friend before... I am surprised he didn't know because I discuss it openly with him. I feel like he should know how I am feeling and he should feel free to tell me the same.

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    • I know I was a little nervous when he started saying things like he loved me already and he was losing a part of himself when I told him we should break up

    • Yeah I feel like if you stay together for longer he will just end up falling in love with you even more, and that means he will get a lot more hurt as well.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It sounds like he is infatuated with you. The fact that you know trying to keep a relationship while in different parts of the world is going to be hard tels me that you are much more mature than he is. So yeah, I think you have the right idea in just going hour separate ways.

    However I have also seen a few relationships hit a wall and and work past it with good communication. Give him once chance to explain his point of view, if he can't convince you to change your mind move on.

    • Yeah... I just dont want him to miss chances because of me. And its only been a month and he already said he loved me

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    • He was very shy and the first woman I dated and I think he was expecting a full blown marriage and such...

    • Every relationship is a learning experience and some people have more to learn than others but don't let that hold you back from doing what you need to do.

  • Better to do it now then later. Right now you are just dragging him along till you leave for college and ready to dump him. Now do you see why he is emotional about this?


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