Not invited to thanksgiving?

My boyfriend and i have been officially dating for 3 months now. We both go to college thats how we met. We are 22. I live 8 hours from my fam and he lives 2 from his. I can't afford to spend Thanksgiving with my fam and he is going home to be with his fam. I have dropped every hint in the book about wanting to be with him on Thanksgiving and go along with him and he just isn't picking up on any freaking hints. I have even said it really sucks that i have to be alone on Thanksgiving and all he said back was yeah that really sucks i feel so bad babe. Like no hey why dont u come along and spend it with me and my fam. Its like he doesn't care that im going to be alone.. all my friends and my parents say what kind of boyfriend lets their own girlfriend celebrate the holidays alone? Hell i wouldn't even let a friend spend the holidays alone it i knew they were going to let alone a SO. Is he being a shitty boyfriend for not inviting me and should i dump him? I mean i always thought the point of the holidays was spending it with your loved ones and i thought a SO was included in that category.


Most Helpful Guy

  • That's kinda strange for sure, I don't think your out of line for expecting an invite given the circumstances...

    But, to play devils advocate, here's a real life example that MIGHT be a possibility here.
    My grandma was old and not doing well a few thanksgivings ago, and my cousin had been dating this guy. My mom was super stressed out with taking care of her mom and trying prepare Thanksgiving for my aunts, and the cousins who were local, but when my cousin asked if it was OK to bring her boyfriend my mom asked her not to. It was a very stressful time for my mom who was hosting the turkey day, and she didn't feel it was the right time to be bringing a relatively new boyfriend into the house, having one extra person to worry about, etc.

    Maybe there's something going on at your boyfriends home that you don't know about... someone's sick or some other type of circumstance. But I would think he would tell you if that's what it was.

    You probably won't be the only one at school who's not going home for Turkey Day, maybe you can see who else is going to be around and plan something fun?
    Or take advantage of an opportunity to have a quiet, relaxing day all to yourself! I know it's not the first choice, but you could sleep til noon, eat a whole pumpkin pie by yourself, and spend the afternoon at the movies or something?

    I hope you figure out something fun to do to make the holiday enjoyable, and talk to your boyfriend... Let him know how you feel and see what he says / does. It may tell you something about his character, or he may have a good reason like what I said above.

    Good luck!

    • Yeah but if you think about it if something was going on at home you think if i was his girlfriend he would keep. me informed on what is going on with his family or he would offer to stay back and be with me. Its like my feelings aren't even a priority to him and i feel really hurt like umm where is the compromise where do i come into play? I think im going to calmly explain to him all this when i see him tonight. Thanks for the advice

    • Yeah, communication is 100% the most important key to a good relationship.
      I hope it works out good for you! Happy early Thanksgiving, too :-)

Most Helpful Girl

  • You've only been dating for 3 months. I wouldn't invite you if I were him. He hasn't fully gotten to know if he wants to be with you, so bringing you home to the family is a bad idea. Go spend it with a friend. It's a better investment. You two haven't been together long enough to be around family.

    • Mehh its different it i had family to go home to but i think its super shitty knowing that your own girlfriend is going to be completely alone on Thanksgiving and not even inviting her is shitty. Its a huge family gathering why is it too soon to be around family? Its not some small intimate gathering with just inmediate family.. cousins he isn't even close to at all will be there he is closer to me than them

    • Or if he doesn't wanma bring me around the family yet he could at least offer to stay back with me so i wouldn't be alone. Its like its all about his family and my feelings dont matter. Its like where do i fit in for your holidays? I dont wanna be in a relationship where my feelings aren't even important to him.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Just come straight out with it. "You not gonna invite to hang with y'all"

    • Thats honestly what im about to do. Im just gonna be like dude i dropped every hint in the book i wanna spend Thanksgiving with u

    • Show All
    • So i shouldn't speak up? Wait im lost

    • Speak up but try not to sound mean say it in a joking way.