How do you win at online dating if you have an unattractive face? Taking my profile pic down has resulted in many more views. Anyone had this happen?

Before I tried this my messages were being deleted before even being read, now they are being read but not responded to too often (probably as I don't have pics up, although I've stated I'm happy to show them if asked for). I've got a good profile otherwise, stated my interests, hobbies, career ambitions, etc, all in a positive tone. And I make my messages unique, showing interest towards them. I"ve experimented hundreds of times with different messages and profile changes to no avail. Ok so I've had a few dates (some of which have gone superbly), only to be ignored afterwards. But in 9 months of online dating I'm questioning whether its worth it?

This leads to my main point, getting a response is one thing. Getting a date is another. And beyond that is foreign territory to me. Fat people can get in shape to improve their chances, what can people with unattractice faces do?

Any advice appreciated :)

by the way, before people start giving me the whole improve yourself and attitude thing, as I am aware this sounds quite negative, I never show that side of me to others, I keep working on that in my own time.

thanks again gagers :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • I could go on the love yourself rant and it really is true. Confidence in your appearance is key to others finding you attractive. You're saying you're unattractive and I can't really give tips on how to improve on that without seeing you so I'm going to go with bushy eyebrows, nose hair, ear hair, groom them all. If it's a case where you can grow a beard do it makes not very attractive guys look better and I don't even like beards. Those are just general tips but in reality a lot of people online dating are taken but stalking partners, married, or people too insecure to actually date. The ones who will are often ones you wouldn't really want to be with. It took me 4 years on and off to find someone and I'm cute as a button lol. Just hang in there and try meet people outside of it too. Don't rely on it but give it a chance too

    • In my last paragraph I mentioned I leave the self doubt and insecurities away from my contact with others, do my best to be positive you know. I don't have excessive amounts of hair that is out of control, I like it short, not sure if I could grow a proper beard haha. Main problem is really bad acne scarring from my teenage years. Yeah I think you're last tip is a good one, I had social anxiety in the past so trying to meet people irl wasn't an option but now I could probably try that more.

    • Acne scars are really not too bad. I mean it's not something that would turn me off dating someone. Have you ever tried bio oil? Supposed to be great for scarring. I really wish you all the best with it though ☺️

    • No I haven't maybe I should try it. I was thinking of asking my doc about laser treatment, apparently it can remove scarring in a couple of weeks but from past experience of dermatologists, they are really pricey. I also have a birthmark under my eye. I mean this stuff is more for my self esteem, not just for others, though if it helps make me more attractive to women, I'd obviously be happy about that too ☺ Thanks a lot ☺

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What Guys Said 1

  • I hear you but look at it this way... If we take 100 girls and show them your profile with nothing but a face shot and 90 swipe you outa the way... Then, we take down your pic and write some real stuff about you, present the profile again to the same 100 girls and 30 contact you... won't you still have the same 20 dissatisfied girls that once they saw you, would reject you now in person? Post your pic and weed out the shallow, my friend! Good luck and have fun. There a girl out there looking for you for who you are on the inside.

    • Well I appreciate what you're saying, there are so many shallow people online that's for sure. I just figure, if I can remove one aspect of me that isn't doing me favours temporarily, I can actually show some of these people that I am a really decent fella if I could just have a chance to converse with them.

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    • We need to rant about stuff like this. You confirmed a point I always try to make to younger people with less experience who are moving way to fast. Casual relationships leave scars on the soul. I advise all the time that they need to seriously consider avoiding unmeaningful relations and pursue sokething deeper, even wait for marriage before sex. So called "freedom of speech" is ruining our country's morals. I don't think Howard Stern and pornographers are what our fore fathers had in mind when they created our constitution. I'm happy there are young men like you out there standing for something. You sound like a fine example of a man and some young lady is going to recognize that. Try Christian Mingle or maybe even EHarmony! I wish you all the best, my friend. Keep in touch around here.

    • Thanks ☺

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