How can you connect with someone who doesn't communicate with you in serious terms?

I just feel like venting my feelings.

I just lost my virginity. To my friend that's a guy. Yea he's not my boyfriend at all, and we're not in love or whatever. Of course after the deed I felt good because, well, it felt good. A few days later (today), I'm starting to think that I'm regretting getting back with him (we dated, haven't seen each other for 2 weeks and got back together) and doing it with him. I feel like I've sold myself short and let him have what he wanted. We're still good (i think); he still texts me, jokes around with me, asks how my day has gone, etc. Yesterday I just hooked up with him again. We just watched a movie and ate dinner at his place and, well, made out (but we never did it).

I guess I'm just letting my feelings talk. I've decided upon myself that as long as I don't get my emotions involved, I should be fine. It was a stupid mistake (now that I've thought about it) to have lost my virginity to him. It was dumb and I can't undo it, so it's best to just move on. I just hope he doesn't ask me to be his girlfriend, because I might just say YES. And if I do, I'd be the biggest idiot ever. It seems as if what we have is a "friends with benefits" deal. It's not gonna blossom into a "lovely" relationship. He's the total opposite of me and he's not my type of guy at all, yet for some reason I fell for his bait. I'm like a deer in the headlights. So vulnerable and have no idea what to do.

I feel as if he's not giving enough effort. The chase is gone. I don't feel "adored" anymore. He doesn't call me "beautiful" anymore like he used to.

How can you connect with someone who doesn't communicate with you in serious terms? We talk but it's mostly cute jokes and teasing, mostly "how was your day? " and "what are you up to? " talks.

I guess I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself. I should just level up with him and just have fun. Keep it cool and, like I said, not let my emotions involved. I'm too sensitive to handle what's gonna happen.

Damn it.

*sigh* I feel a little better after that. :)


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What Guys Said 1

  • So you frustrated that you had it with him. Seems more like you one of the stereotype gals, brought up on ol M&B's and when it was time to loose virginity. Oops it happened so fast that you didn't realize what you always imagined it would be like - never happened.

    So what didn't work out the aftermath of sex, or he was not a good lover in bed.

    . Instead of getting too scenic in your mind, calm down. Think it over with a clear head. If you wanna hang with him you can downright make it lively too.

    • I guess I'm one of those "stereotype gals", eh? Because I only go for the physical stuff. I wasn't satisfied with him in bed. I purposely made it all happen so fast so I'd regret it in the end. Well that seems so shallow. I'm not one of those girls. NOTE: he was my first EVER and I've never had a boyfriend EVER. But I acknowledge your opinion.

    • So very thankful of you. Still see you are fuming. :-)

      nah stereotype wasn't intended for you being physical. And nah also to my assumption that you would a lady brought up on M&B. Thought you would get the context

What Girls Said 1

  • Well I think I know why he isn't calling you beautiful. Most guys want sex from a girl, but when they finally get it, they lose respect for her. I don't know why that happens, but that's also why the chase is gone, as he got what he wanted. Don't beat yourself up over it, but definitely don't continue to have sex with him if you aren't in love with him, because emotions play a huge role in sex, and it's almost impossible not to be attached afterwards. Especially since he was your first. And don't say yes if he does ask you out, because it seems to me you'd just be saying that out of confusion and a "connection" from this guy as he was your first.

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