To give up or to fight for it?

I met this great guy a few months ago. We clicked immediately and knew we wanted each other the moment we met. We started dating, and for a couple of months, we would literally talk 24/7 and we even discussed a possible future together. He always told me how he never wanted to get married until he met me, and that I'm the one for him, and he can't lose me. It seemed like he genuinely saw me in his future, and although at first it was hard to believe, he would always seem truly sincere when he said things like this. He made me feel loved. I started to view him the same way. I saw him in my future too.

This all went on for a couple of months, until summer ended and he started a new year of uni (we don't go to the same uni). First I noticed that he started to chat less everyday, and I tolerated it, thinking that it's just a phase and he's just really busy right now. We met up a few times, but that was it. But now it has actually been two months since we started to chat less (we only talk once a week/every 2 weeks now), and a little over a month since we met up.. I've just been so quiet about this, but I'm slowly exploding.

We live in the same city, but he can't seem to make time for me because he's so busy with university (he's a dentistry student). I totally understand that dentistry is hard, and I want him to prioritise uni and his studies of course, but not to the extent where he puts literally zero effort. I've talked to him about it several times.. still no progress. I told him if he doesn't want this then he should also tell me, but he said that he did want his and it is hard to balance between me and uni. Last week I asked him out, he said he can't, so I said that I'm not asking him out again or starting any convos and he apologised, but hasn't said anything ever since. He has midterms now but can't he just give me a minute of his day? I don't know what to do. I can't lose him, I hate to be stressful to him but I want to make this work.


Most Helpful Guy

  • these professions ask a lot of those who dedicate their lives to them. Sadly this also includes their love life. So ask him if he would be willing to set a certain day aside just for you. If not leave him. I am in medicine and I go through women like tic tacs, because the schooling is a reflection of the lifestyle. It consumes your entire life "Vita brevis est, et ars longus est." It means the life is short and the skill/art is long! There's a reason hypocrites said this... It's the terrible part about our profession those we love the most are always going to be second to our patients and profession...


Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 1

  • This is the classic case of what can happen when people go to Uni -- they meet new people, find new friends, find new potential 'love' interests and the old one's get left behind.

    It wouldn't surprise me if he's found a new woman and is focusing on her instead of you, he figures that since you're out of his way that it's not worth pursuing and you constantly being demanding and confrontational isn't helping matters, though I understand where you're coming from as you really like him and this is unfair on you.

    You'll just have to be patient with him and see what happens but brace for the possibility that he has moved on with his life and has found someone else.


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