Things are moving too fast, I think I've made a mistake and I'm a terrible person?

So I started seeing this girl about a month ago and we've just had our 4th date. On each of our dates we've stayed over each other's place and had sex. At first I just wanted a hit it and quit it type of thing and I'm sure she wanted the same considering she basically invited me over for sex. So we ended up really clicking and liking each other and that's why we're still seeing each other. Here's the problem, while I do like the girl and feel a connection with her, I'm not crazy about her, I really wouldn't care much if I never saw her again, I know how terrible that is and I feel like a terrible person for it, but I just know I can do better. However, I don't think that's the case with her, I think she's fallen in love with me which makes this so much worse. I didn't mean for this to happen, I'm just a really sweet, charming, and romantic guy by nature and I can't help making women feel happy because I love them so much. Last night we ended up going to this super fancy restaurant (I had NO IDEA it was THAT fancy) and she was so happy that she almost cried, she told me that I'm by far the best guy that she's ever been with and that this was the most incredible date she's ever had. I don't know why but I just thought fk it I'll give her the best night of her life because I wanted to see her happy because she is a great girl so I continued to charm her. We ended up having increadible sex and my bed is completely soaked now and smells... I couldn't even touch her afterwards because she was all tingly and super sensitive, then she asked me to play guitar for her which she loved, then we listened to music and I stupidly put foreign romantic songs on, but at that moment I could tell from her breathing alone that this girl has fallen deeply in love with me. I know she's not the girl for me and I now feel like I dug myself into a hole. I really just wanted something super casual and now I don't know what to do. Anyone been in this situation? Help.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's best in the long - term for both of you if you let her know where she stands. Be honest and tell her you are not wanting a relationship with her.

    Honesty may hurt her for a short while, but stringing her along by lying to her... will destroy her trust.

    • That's true! I didn't think she'd get this caught up into it to considering she knows that there's a VERY high chance that she'll be moving in 6 months and she knows that I'm moving for a fact in 2 years.

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    • Aww I am happy it has worked out for you. Good luck ! I wish you both well 💜😊

    • Thank you :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok some might say to rip it off like a bandaid, but dont do that. Just sort of turn down the dial slowly so she gets heartbroken slowly if that makes sense. If u just smash her heart to pieces in one hit it will really hurt. But if do it slowly she has time to process it and will handle it better. Just be less romantic and be less nice and stuff and make her dislike u in a way but not too much. That way she will put the question mark in her own mind rather than u telling her. Then she might think 'hang on a minute i dont actually like this guy and it isn't working like i thought'. This will be easier for her to take then breaking her heart. It kinda makes u look bad but its a selfless act to save her.

    • Yea I think I'm just going to dial it down a notch and see how things fall and how I feel about her. I know that this is shallow, but if she was better looking I don't think I'd feel this way. Personality wise she's the best match that I've had, but she's the least attractive girl I've been with, she's still pretty but I'm just used to being with extremely pretty girls. I feel like such a huge asshole for this, I'm such a bad person, she's such a sweet girl.

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What Girls Said 1

  • If you just had your fourth date she is not in love with you. She seems to be infatuated.

    You should tell her that you just want something casual.

    • Things have moved really fast and I can tell that after the date last night that she's changed around me. She was actually tearing up on our date and was telling me how incredibly lucky she is to have found me and that I'm the best guy she's ever met and how I treat her so well. She is REALLY into me, like a crazy amount. I can tell just from the way she looks at me, I'm sure she's in love with me already, I don't know how I know, but I just do. I don't even know at this point if I really am not into her or I'm just completely caught off-guard because things have moved so fast and it's making me freak out.

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    • I texted her that that's sweet of her to say but it's too early for me to say it and it doesn't change anything or how I feel about her and that I really like her. I'm seeing her Saturday, I'm going to have a talk with her and tell her that I think she's moving way too fast and that it's not healthy for either of us.

    • Now she took it back saying that she didn't really mean it that way even though she said I love you... don't see how I can take it any other way other than I love you

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