Why is the answer to why a person can't get a boyfrien or girlfriend, is always to socialize?

I'm not looking for a boyfriend but when I use to the answer would always be go be more sociable and go our more.

Well that's funny because I use to go out with friends and I still do but now I go to church and no one has asked me out during the times when I would go to a night club or when I was at a party or at the mall.
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because the answer is a lot more complex than "go out more".

    The actual answer is

    1) Go out to places with single guys,
    2) Look reasonably attractive,
    3) Look like you want someone to approach you,
    4) Strike up conversations with guys
    5) Flirt with them,
    6) If they don't ask for you number ask for theirs,
    7) Text or call them,
    8) Go on dates and keep the interest level high,
    9) Become exclusive.

    It takes a lot more than just "go out more".

    • That's what people say "go out more" as if it's easy

    • Well those people
      1) Are too lazy to give you the right answer
      2) Don't know the right answer
      3) Don't care enough about your problems to tell you what you need to know

Most Helpful Girl

  • Because being attractive but not personable at all will make you nice to look at, but not good for much more than that. Being in a relationship is when two people enjoy spending a lot of time together, have good chemistry, etc..
    Just sitting there & looking pretty will only suffice if you want to find a friends with benefits at most.

    • Don't tell me what a relationship is. I never asked for that. I'm not sure why you feel the need to talk down to me. And no I don't sit there and look pretty. Thanks for assuming stupid shit though

    • Show All
    • *your

    • :) :) :) :) :) :)

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What Guys Said 6

  • When they say you need to socialise, they mean that you can't meet anyone sitting at home playing Candy Crush. You need to be somewhere outside where you'll encounter other human beings. Going out with friends dramatically increases your chances (up from ZERO sitting at home) but it's still not a guarantee you'll meet someone.

  • its implied that you go out more AND make an effort to meet a new person you may find your attracted too, its not normal for it to sporadically happen out of the blue. You gotta make shit happen.

    • I talk to guys I'm interested in
      How is that nor making shit happen?

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    • Well the friends I'm making are female
      And I like men so that presents a problem

    • it'll work out if the guys you meet are also looking forward to a platonic friendship.

  • Unless your a rare rose you can't just stand there and look pretty, you have to build on your ability to construct and develop relationships with purpose

  • the chances of meeting "the one" are higher if you encounter more people, and it can be a boost to your self-esteem and happiness to go have fun and meet new people.

  • I read a little bit of one your conversations.
    I mostly met my past girlfriends by association. Guys say "Heey, let me introduce you to my colleague" or girl says "This is my friend".

    Another thing is a typical girl concept called "Desperate". I see so many girls trying to not look desperate. And because of that they never have someone and become... desperate. This is the wrong approach. You are gonna portrait that "I'm uninterested" vibe and guys will instead approach another girl.

    Not saying that you are doing this. Just explaining the process.

    Life is about enjoying. Talk to to people (men & Women) and take an interest in them. Maybe that person is not the person you are looking for but he or she might introduce you to someone else that is perfect for you. And you might do the same for other people. And even if you didn't meet that perfect person you did meet more people.

  • Let me give you an alternative answer, let's say you find a boyfriend, THEN WHAT?


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    • America
      Why does that even matter?

    • because in america THAT NEVER HAPPENS. I live here to and men are always expected to ask women out.

What Girls Said 1

  • I think if you socialize you are bumping up your chances of meeting a someone. If you say that no one has asked you out maybe you could try asking someone else out, dont be afraid to make the first move. Also you can try hanging out someplace new, like a different restaurant or coffee house.


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