When I went on the first date with my boyfriend which was expensive, over $100 which were tickets to a show. He had pre ordered it. We had a meal each which was included and where I live water is not free, so I bought bottle water. When we went to the checkout, he said "do you have money for the water?"
Couple of weeks later. He messaged me asking what my expectations are of him, and then he said "It's about money. For dates would you expect me to pay all the way. Because it's only customary for the guy to pay for the 1st date"
Then I replied saying I would contribute. He replied with "Thank you! That's the answer I was hoping for. Because tbh I can't afford to pay 100% for all dates with my current salary"
I currently don't have a full time job as I'm a uni student. I then said "I don't even have a proper job currently so it's probably smartest if we do things that involve not spending. I do not mind contributing however if I am invited and then expected to pay (for example my own movie ticket) I would feel insulted"
His reply was "I don't mind paying a bigger portion e. g. 80%, all I'm asking is you contribute some"
He's Asian and as far as I am aware, most men pay for women. In fact, almost every date. I was told by my previous ex Asian boyfriend that generally speaking, the woman NEVER pays on any sort of date in his culture. I live in Asia, not America for those who immediately assume. He's not an American Asian in any shape or form.
When it comes down to it, I do not mind paying but I am offended by how he asked me (over text) and then booked for us to go to see a movie (more cost) and then texts me a few days beforehand talking about money and that he expects me to contribute. I've never expected him to pay for me and previously in my dating life I have always offered and the man has refused.
Most Helpful Guy
... Am I missing something or is the first paragraph you complaining about having to buy you own bottles water after he had spent over $100 on the date?
Then you pulled that "whoever planned the date should cover everything" excuse Because you probably don't expect to plan anything
Then after stating that you don't mind contributing money, you just go on about how you've never contributed money for a date3
Most Helpful Girl
Hmm i'm not sure, I totally understand contributing, or when its a special day for him you pay for it. However If you've already stated maybe you shouldn't go places that required a lot of spending since you're not exactly in a stable job due to school, and he did that-- that kind of stinks. Every relationship is different, my last I paid more than he did towards the end and my current one, sounds unreal but I've never paid for anything, except maybe if he wasn't with me and I was bringing something.0