Couple of weeks later. He messaged me asking what my expectations are of him, and then he said "It's about money. For dates would you expect me to pay all the way. Because it's only customary for the guy to pay for the 1st date"
Then I replied saying I would contribute. He replied with "Thank you! That's the answer I was hoping for. Because tbh I can't afford to pay 100% for all dates with my current salary"
I currently don't have a full time job as I'm a uni student. I then said "I don't even have a proper job currently so it's probably smartest if we do things that involve not spending. I do not mind contributing however if I am invited and then expected to pay (for example my own movie ticket) I would feel insulted"
His reply was "I don't mind paying a bigger portion e. g. 80%, all I'm asking is you contribute some"
He's Asian and as far as I am aware, most men pay for women. In fact, almost every date. I was told by my previous ex Asian boyfriend that generally speaking, the woman NEVER pays on any sort of date in his culture. I live in Asia, not America for those who immediately assume. He's not an American Asian in any shape or form.
When it comes down to it, I do not mind paying but I am offended by how he asked me (over text) and then booked for us to go to see a movie (more cost) and then texts me a few days beforehand talking about money and that he expects me to contribute. I've never expected him to pay for me and previously in my dating life I have always offered and the man has refused.
Most Helpful Guy
... Am I missing something or is the first paragraph you complaining about having to buy you own bottles water after he had spent over $100 on the date?
Then you pulled that "whoever planned the date should cover everything" excuse Because you probably don't expect to plan anything
Then after stating that you don't mind contributing money, you just go on about how you've never contributed money for a date
Most Helpful Girl
I think he's being perfectly reasonable. He said he can't afford to pay for everything for you, which I feel he's being honest about, and you should understand being a uni student. I think he's just being straight up because he's likely had girls who expected him to pay for everything. Welcome to equality.
Mind you, it would have been better if he brought this up a little more gently, but other than that, I think he's being reasonable.