Is it better to ask if she "is single" or "has a boyfriend" ?

I've been having conversations lately with girls i'm attracted to and i'm not sure where the uncomfortableness comes from. It's all in the dialogue which is why i have to ask this:
Is it better to ask a girl, "do you have a boyfriend?"
"are you single?"

At first it may seem that they are the same friggin thing. I know! I thought this too, but now i'm convinced one will give you a different response because one sounds like you're creeping and the other just curious. Help me out girls, whats this mean to you?
Clearly everyone seems to be on the fence about this. That's irritating


Most Helpful Girl

  • To make it More Comfy perhaps on the safe side, @sethosaurus_rex, in Making light and semi sweet Convo just in passing mention Here: "Your boyfriend is a lucky guy."
    If they are Honest Janes and tell you the Honest John Truth of whether or not they have One this will give you a helpful hint on the hot spot they are "Single" too.
    On the other underhand, those who are Taken, may not want to admit it Offhand.
    Good luck. xx


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Ask "are you single".

    It just sounds better and less personal to me. Sometimes putting too much emphasis on the words boyfriend or girlfriend before a relationship can make you look either jealous or a bit clingy so avoid those words.

  • HAHAHAHA good one! I like the sound of Do you have a boyfriend better however I think in todays society a woman can have a girlfriend too lol so I think to be safe ask if she is single and then you will know also that she isn't keeping anyone on the side line... hopefully

  • my instinct is to say "are you single" because she might not be single, but also might not have a boyfriend! because, she could be gay, or bisexual.

    honestly, i think "have you been seeing anyone lately" sounds better


What Guys Said 3

  • I will answer with "it depends"

    I have used a zillion variations but based on the way I felt the conversation was going.

    "Are you single" I find to be a little cold and impersonal. Plus it paints someone who may be dating other people into a corner or have an awkward moment. What if she is seeing 5 guys but only dating them? technically not single nor does she have a boyfriend.

    "do you have a boyfriend" allows for a little more wiggle room and conveys your intention of wanting to see her again.

    Again for me it's all about making it easy. If things are going well and I don't know from any verbal cues I may playfully say, "can I get your number or will your boyfriend mind?"

    If you are interested, ask. If not, don't.

  • I'd say ask if she's single. seems to go over much better.

  • I think it's better to ask " if she is single".


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