Okay, whenever I use online dating, and I get matched up with a girl, I usually message them first. When I meassage them first, I say hi how are you, then if they respond, great, they dont, oh well. But if we talk it is only for a messages back and forth, then I will ask for their number or a coffee date to meet in person. My belief is this, you can't build a bond and raise attraction over the phone, I believe getting a girl out and see if there is chemistry. Also, I am very direct with women, meaning I will tell her she is sexy, very cute, etc. If I dont want anything plutonic, I state that by saying they are attractive or asking when they are free to get together. If I get wishy washy answers, are they simply not interested?