In love with my guy best friend and going nuts. Please help me decide what to do?

Hi everyone, sorry for the long post. But I am in a very difficult situation with my guy best friend.

Lets get to the point: I have very strong feelings for him. And I want to tell him/ask him out but I don't know how.

Here is our story:
we met a few months ago and instantly became friends. We would text/snapchat all the time. Over the summer we got even closer. We went to the bars a lot and most times ended with us being super flirty and touchy. Now, we still seem to text all the time and continue conversations throughout days. We do weird couple like things together; including over the summer we went to movies and baseball games. And more recently, shopping just the two of us. We drive everywhere together and everyone always asks/jokes about us being together. He's a very shy and awkward person, meaning that he gets uncomfortable in a lot of situations.

I'm not sure whether to tell him how I feel or not. I don't know if it'll ruin the friendship. If you feel I should tell him, how should I do it? Over texting or in person? Keeping in mind how shy of a person he is. I don't want to ruin what we have, but I can't keep this secret anymore. It's taking up all of my mental energy.


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a problem I'd love to have.

    He's into you. He's making those jokes because he wants to bring it up but is too shy, and hopes you take the hint. If he's shy, he's going to have trouble bringing it up or making a move.

    Basically, any way you bring it up is going to work. Have fun with it. I'm trying to think of the way I'd most want it to be brought up if I were him and I feel like telling him in person would almost be less exciting. You're going to be nervous and you're going to put him on the spot. If you send him a text saying something like "I have to tell you something," then when he responds say "I'm in love with you," his heart will stop and he'll get to imagine you saying it exactly the way he wants without having to worry that your nervousness will make it awkward. You could also go drinking with him one night, take him back to your place, and just kiss him or touch him in some way. But I think you'd have to try pretty hard to mess this up.

    • He isn't the one making the jokes though, it's people around us. However he doesn't seem to get offended by them or correct anyone.

    • Ah, I see. How long since he's touched you or looked at you a certain way? How does he react when people make jokes about you two being together?

    • Other than not correcting them I mean

Most Helpful Girl

  • text him ! Or a simple sheet of paper that says: I LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE YOU! Do you like me? Yes!!! or no! and that way he isn't freakin out because its in writing... lol i mean thats what I would do!


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • it's basically a risk reward situation.

    is the reward of being his girlfriend worth the risk of potentially making the friendship awkward

    my personal opinion is that he probably likes you to some extent. even if you tell him that you've started to develop feelings it certainly doesn't mean that the friendship is doomed

    I personally believe you should tell people how you feel

  • Go for it. It's likely he feels the same and is just too shy to say anything.

  • You have passed the point of asking him out. Figure out a moment and give him a kiss on the lips. That will work for sure
    About losing what you have right now, you already lost it. Now you have feelings for him. You cannot change that.

  • Your friendship ended the moment you started having feelings for him. Really, you have to choose between pretending to be his friend, or deciding to go after a chance at being together.

    Believe me, even if he doesn't feel the same way it's better that he knows.

    • If he says no, I would like to continue the friendship though. And I think I'll be able to. Do you think that's possible?

    • It is, it will just be a little different because now he knows how you feel and there will be more clearly defined boundaries.

    • I've had female friends tell me they love me. It changed things a bit - for a little while - but it will all balance out.

What Girls Said 1

  • You need to tell him your feelings. I'm guessing he feels the same way but as you said is very shy. Go for it! Could end up being an amazing relationship.


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