am I crazy? Is it normal?
My liking fir this girl is getting me down?
am I crazy? Is it normal?
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I am not sure if it is normal to feel that way.
I am in an exact situation as you. I really like a girl who I cannot have. She rejected me and choose some other guy over me. My feelings are very similar to yours ("I find myself... ... down about it!" Except for the boyfriend part as I am certain that she has a boyfriend).
I always find myself thinking about her everyday, could not let go of her. I wish to see her but am too anxious to meet her as I will find myself running away from the reflections of me in her bright eyes. I no longer have the courage to message her anymore. When she does not reply to my messages, I would assume that she was busy with her boyfriend, fucking him, and that she thinks I am annoying and hates me.
Every time, I see another girl of the same race, similar body proportion, wearing similar clothing, I would automatically wonder if that girl is her.
I find this extremely frustrating especially that our relationship never started, yet I placed her on the pedestal automatically. I don't want to forget about her, I want her to stay in my heart and I also wish that she will place me in her heart as well. I am suffering from social anxiety because of this as I thought I was crazy. I am afraid to tell this story to anyone, even my parents as I am afraid they will see me differently.
I considered about telling her that I have these kind of thoughts and hopefully that she will accept me. Doing so may cure my anxiety. I am very sad. She is haunting me. I want her to understand, accept me, and never leave me. I want to be at least best friends forever.
She told me that she feels guilty that she needed to turn me down for another guy. I told her that the worst thing for her to do is to phase me out in her life, which I am assuming she is doing right now as she rarely respond to my texts and always give me short responses unlike before when she always voice her opinions and ask me for recommendations.
Anon, you are not alone. My situation is no better than you. My social anxiety is growing stronger day by day. I find myself unable to participate in most group activities because I am scared that someone will find out about my story with that girl and they will see me as a creep.
If you like to discuss about this kind of issue, I am much more than happy to talk about it! Feel free to PM me. I have no one to relate this kind of issue with so I presume that I am crazy.
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