I am 23 and being a fool?

I am 23 and severly dissappointed in myself. I still live at home, i should have left by the age of 18 and i am ANGRY. My mother has always been abusive, mentally, physically (the physical stopped at the age of 16) She was very dismissive towards us. Even just today she called me horrible names, she is very depressive and sits at home all day, all around misery. I am student and i never taken it seriously to move out, i thought it was smarter to save money. Silly me, i chose money over my diginity. I chose money over my life, my peace of mind, naivly i believed she had mine best interest but secretly she is jealous of me going out, working and making a life for myself, she sometimes encourages it and sometimes she doesn't. I feel like a loser, i forgot myself, i literally let her abuse me past my adult age when i was 18 i should have moved out but i desperatly wanted the love of a mother. I am need of a house and i have two days of the weekend while i am at home, i have no friends i can stay at and no family who lets me in, my brother and sister dont talk to me anymore, because they feel like i should take care of myself. i am angry at them, how can they forget me? I am so angry i am seriously considering about moving to a new city and leaving everyone behind, thing is in this condition i will be all alone, no one and i think i am too vulnerable to take the challenge even tho i really want to move out and immediately go to a new city, i have ptsd when i walk around my hometown. Help.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You're being far too harsh on yourself. You are a student, so it's a tall order to be a student, to work and rent your own place. What you should do is turn all of this negative energy into something positive and that positive to ensure you get the highest possible qualifications in order to get a good job, so you can move out and be free from the 'toxic' environment you are currently in.

    • you dont understand, my young sister left at the age of 18, my mom is really a bad person, she cursed at us , she abused us, we were supposed to be put in childsupport and i stayed, i stayed, and i can't forgive myself for it, i should have chosen my own diginity, i should have chosen my own diginity, ts not being harsh, im well capable of taking care of myself, but i chose money, she doesn't even deserve to see my face

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    • You can learn to forgive yourself by realizing that you are a human being and that you will make mistakes. Is your life in danger? Are you threatened with violence or has any violence has occurred? You mentioned you were saving your money, would you have enough money to afford to rent somewhere for the duration of your studies?

    • she threathend to ''hit'' me but i know she won't, its just that when someone is envy you, you feel discomfort

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