How to make my boyfriend do more around the house?

We have been together for five hears and he has always been sort of lazy. He will leave his dishes and clothes lying around constantly. Never washes dishes or cleans around the house. The only thing he does is do laundry on a very rare occasion, just to dump our clean clothes on the floor (his dog always uses our clothes as a bed) so I have to rewash them.
I work almost constantly and I'm tired of coming home to a trashed house. I swear he's worse than the kids. I work ten hour days so the last thing I want to do when I get home is laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, picking up the kids toys and then having to make dinner, give the kids their nightly bath and then put them to bed. Obviously the baths and putting my kids to bed is something I enjoy doing but he never helps out.
I asked him to contribute where he is currently unemployed but he doesn't. He will claim he's helping out but he's not. The house is in constant shambles when I get home from work and I have to clean every single night (and its mostly cleaning up after him). He has been looking for a job, so save your "dead beat" comments. Its just that he's so damned lazy!
When we were both working my sister would babysit for me and my house would always look the way it did when I left for work when I got home. So I know that there is no reason whatsoever for our home to look the way it does! He seriously thinks he's doing a good deed when he does a load of laundry every two months..
And he thinks that money grows on trees or something. He will go shopping for a shit ton of cleaning supplies and decorative stuff, just to throw it in the closet and leave me to find it months down the road.
How can I get it through his head that I am at wits edge right now because of his lack of doing anything and his constant money spending habits?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell him how much better you'd feel if he contributed and when he does, show him you appreciate it. It's always good to first try kind and playful way of getting your point across and to use positive reinforcement. If that doesn't work tho, just stop cleaning after him. That may feel weird at first, but try to resist the temptation to move his clothes from the floor or to wash after him. He'll get the hint. You are not his mother so you shouldn't act like one.


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What Guys Said 1

  • It won't change. He might be in a depression because of not having a job


What Girls Said 1

  • Tell him that you feel like you are the one contributing more to the relationship than he does. That he need to help you in doing house chores. Tell him that you can't go to work for 20 hours and then comeback to do more work. That since he is home, he should at least help.


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