How come people think it's gross for a man is his 30's to date an 18 yr old girl but it's not gross if an 18 yr old boy to date 30 year old woman?

Dating

To me that's a double standard. If the 30 something year old guy seems genuine, then his age can be overlooked. It's wrong to talk negative about people, without a good reason.

Girls have gotten to the point where they don't know what they want, them same 18 year old girls that don't want nothing to do with men in their 30's are also the ones that want nothing to do with dating a guy who is the same age as them, which is 18. That makes it seem like they are souless creatures.

  • A.) I've dated guys who are the same age as me
    Vote A
  • B.) I've dating guys who are way older than me
    Vote B
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How come people think it's gross for a man is his 30's to date an 18 yr old girl but it's not gross if an 18 yr old boy to date 30 year old woman?
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Normally in a relationship the man has more power. I'm not saying this is try for all couples but it is for quite a few.
    Men are usually stronger, bigger, and tend to be more dominant. If you add older onto that list it's giving the man even MORE power! And that means he can almost completely control them. That makes most people uncomfortable and wonder what if he is controlling her?

    And plus if you're old enough to be someones parent you should probably not be dating them...

    Hope I helped :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nobody would care about either all that much, even though they might not 'get' the attraction themselves, if it weren't for the fact that older men choosing younger women is a persistent undercurrent in all dating beyond age 25 or so, and women, who are massive beneficiaries of this when young (even if they aren't dating older men, which most aren't, since some women are, there is a surplus of young men competing for those left), are angered and bothered by it when older and try to guilt both parties for participating in it.

    I think it also bothers men and women sometimes because it highlights the fact that we aren't attracted to the same things in one another, and what the other sex finds attractive seems 'fake' to us. Men really do value both looks, and some of the personality traits more common in the young more than women do, and women really do value success, achievement and experience more than men do. So women feel like men just want bodies, and men feel like women just want money and a resume. Neither of which is true, but it can feel that way.

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What Girls Said 11

  • Any 30 year old taking advantage of an 18 year old is gross. And yes. That much of a power imbalance is taking advantage.

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    • This is not even about taking advantage, an age difference doesn't necessarily mean that one of them is abusive. Do you think that love cares about age?

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    • Well thank you for proving to me once again that there is apparently no way for you to communicate like an adult: without insulting people.

      Reply

    • @Vakarian You would do a lot better in these situations if you actually thought about what people wrote. Good luck with that.

      Reply

  • I never said it wasn't gross for an 18 yr old boy to date a woman in her 30's. It's usually guys that are encouraging this and are calling these woman "cougars" and "milfs" and cheer the young men on for nailing her. I don't support it either way whether it's a girl or a guy.

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  • Both are a little odd to me. I think a much older individual (whether male or female) approaching a young person can be quite inappropriate depending on a few things. The other way around is unusual but the older person might be more able to shut the situation down due to maturity. But I really don't care, people will do what people do.

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  • Both are gross?

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    • I see your question mark... explain

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    • If @jakeofalltrades wanted to get to know you better, would you say to him?

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    • What the fuck?

      What the fuck is wrong with your thinking?

      Your question is, I quote, "How come people think it's gross for a man is his 30's to date an 18 yr old girl but it's not gross if an 18 yr old boy to date 30 year old woman?"

      It is disgusting for an 18 year old girl to be with a 30 year old man. It is disgusting for a 18 year old boy to be with a 30 year old woman. That's my answer.

      I don't know where you get off thinking I said I wouldn't date someone my age.

      Good God.

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  • It's definitely gross for a 30 year old woman to date and 18 year old BOY.

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  • Both are pretty gross

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    • What makes you think you're above them? With all due respect.

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    • A 17 year old guy is also gross? You're delusional, you can't make it seem like he wouldn't be good enough for you.

      I hope you're not saying the current guy you're in a relationship with, if he was the same age as you, you wouldn't give him your time of day, despite the fact that he would still have the same personality if he was 17.

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    • No a 17 year old is fine. I'm talking about a 30 year old man compared to a 30 year old woman. My boyfriend is not even a whole year older than me.

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  • I never dated or left my house lol!

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    • Some of the things you say are incredibly concerning.

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    • Okay, good. Be careful when you say things like "I have never left my house" - it makes people worry!

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    • @9mfeo awe.. I didn't mean to make u worry!

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  • I think both are gross.

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  • I think its gross both ways.

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  • but it is gross

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  • at 18 I wouldn't have thought twice about dating someone who was 30 I only wanted to date people my age, at 27 I was talking to someone who was 39. I only talked to him for about a month and realized that we just weren't compatible. would I date someone with that age gap again most likely not but wouldn't be opposed. I agree whole heartedly that there's a double standard but I don't think there's anything we can do about it, because you'll always have people who are set in their ways.

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What Guys Said 13

  • pretty sure thats pedolphilia both ways sexual relations in the us require both partners to be within two years of each other. So a college freshmen can bang a senior and its legal. as far as the 18 and 30 y/o couple its weird but still legal as long as y'all dont have sex.

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  • i don't think either are gross, as long as they are both of legal age i don't see any problem with it

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  • People do think it's wrong, you're looking at the older persons perspective

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  • To be fair most people I know would think that both scenarios are 'gross'.

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  • Neither are gross, although it's taboo in my opinion.

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  • Pretty sure people think both are gross.

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  • Hypocrites hate see people who are different happy. It used to be the gays and blacks but because ok to be gay or black now they start looking for other nails thst stick out to hammer

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  • Because society hates males and male sexuality and glorifies female sexuality.
    A female who rapes a child is not considered a rapist and the young child is considered "lucky".
    A female (even a young one 14-18) can openly walk around almost naked without repercussion or shame and males who follow the biological instinct to look and be sexually interested are instantly attacked verbally and physically.

    We are treated like taunted animals being expected to stop our natural urge while constantly having it rubbed in our face. It's a bullshit double standard and ALL men should start fighting back. We need to stop shaming each other for sexual shit and start shaming the females for taunting. 98% of males are ephebophiles. *(Attracted to young adults) because women who are in their sexual and physical prime are biologically alluring to the male of the species. It doesn't make us creeps or perverts or any other bullshit word used to shame us. It makes us normal sexual primates.

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  • I fooled around with an 18 year old a couple of years ago and she still wants to hang around me and has been with even older than me on a regular basis but still wants to be with me instead even though I tell her to find someone closer to her age but doesn't want to

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  • Oh? I thought society's perspective was that both instances were "gross". But either way, if both parties are honestly accepting of it then I don't see anything wrong.

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  • I wouldn't call it gross; there are no laws being broken. However, regardless of gender, an 18-year-old and a 30-year-old are at different places in their lives. If all they want is to have some fun together, that's fine. However, if they want to have a long-term relationship, that's going to be more of a challenge than if they both stayed within their respective age ranges.

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  • Its feminism. Any cugar get a younger guys and its you go girl. Older man youbger woman, the guy is a sexist pig. If you wanter a woman who happens to be younger, go for it!

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  • Neither is gross, 18 is a legal age.

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