Girls, my girlfriend wants to get married, but I don't?

we are college students, and love each other a lot, and she wants to marry me. I don't agree for the following reasons -

1. I want to have an established career and finish grad school.

2. I fear the idea of divorce.

3. I want to enjoy life with money (travel, buy a sports car, buy wiiu, ps4, Xbox One, build a PC, and buy games for them).

4. I have many female friends I enjoy hanging with (male too). I do not want to lose them or spend less time with them.

5. I made out with her best friend a few days ago (I still love her).

6. I want to date more girls, have more casual sex, and just be free. marriage won't let me.

7. My parents (South Asian) and her parents (Chinese) are against it (normally I wouldn't care, but I am too).

8. we temporarily broke up last year, when I studied abroad in Japan. I had sex with some Japanese girls and dated one, while my girlfriend stayed single. we got back after returning home to the USA.

9. joining a co ed frat limits our time together, and being in a time consuming major (Computer Science) doesn't help. She is a communication major.

so, what do I do? she's wonderful and I love her, despite our limited time, and my goals, and even cheating on her but I don't know about marriage.


Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. If you want to wait until longer because of that then tell her, I'm sure she would understand.
    2. Again, I feel that's something the to of you should discuss.
    3. You can still have money even when you're married, and I'm sure if you wait until you've established your careers it should be a bit better.
    4. You can still hang out and have friends who are girls even if you are married.
    5&6. Sounds like you probably shouldn't even be in a relationship if you can't stay committed or be content with your girlfriend.
    7. Again, if you're against marriage because of her being south Asian then why are you together in the first place?
    8. What does that have to do with it exactly?
    9. You could mutually find a day or set time you devote to each other each week.


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What Girls Said 3

  • I think this would be a good idea to break up if you both aren't on the same page. This isn't an issue that can be compromised. If she wants marriage and you don't, then that's a BIG difference.

  • Break up with your girlfriend. Tell her you can't guarantee a marriage.

    Don't lead her on for nothing

  • Okay yeah, you love her. But it doesn't sound like you're committed to her at all. If that's the future she sees and you don't see it the same way, you have to tell her. You just said that you want to date other people, so clearly you know somewhere deep down that you don't want this forever. Why drag it out when you can just end it now. It'll suck, yeah. But it'll only get more unfair the longer you pretend you actually want to be with her.


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